The Al Franken Decade

As a guest 'commentator' on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update in early 1980, Al Franken announced that the 80's were to be the  'Al Franken Decade'.

He missed it by about 30 years.

30 years in which we might have enjoyed Al's dry but insightful humor in political roles of all sorts, maybe even President.

If Mr. Franken's current lead of 50 votes in Minnesota's senatorial recount holds, his decade may finally arrive.  Al's election to the Senate, I think, will bring the catharsis that Minnesotans have been seeking since that Prince of Boredom, Walter Mondale, left the political stage.  

Mondale was an intelligent, liberal, thoughtful man, and a credit to his state. Too bad he had the palatability of Lutefisk to everyone outside Minnesota.  Al Franken is more wild rice than fish soaked in lye, and can be expected to travel better as a result. 

I am sure he will do a better job for that state than the wrestler they made Governor once, maybe even better than the 'Terminator' we in California made ours.  (For insurance, he should marry a Kennedy.)

If, after a long and illustrious tenure as Senator from Minnesota, Al Franken decides to run for President, I hope he books Tom Davis as his running mate.  A Franken and Davis administration would be good for everyone - or at least good fun.  

And, if that 50 vote lead doesn't hold, and Al Franken isn't elected to the Senate...

Well, then, as the great Emily Litella used to say ... 'Never Mind!'

Poetry Break 2: Bush & Cheney

Withered Bush, dried-up Shrub

Tumbling across the Nation

With that big Dick, Cheney,

following in formation

Blowing West, to Crawford

Much brush there is to clear

Just don't take 'ol Dick up on

His offer to hunt Deer!

The Directions of Time

Towards the end of every year I become reflective.  For those of you who have learned vocabulary from TV commercials, that doesn't mean I shine in the presence of light, although I can do that too, with proper motivation.

No, in the waning days and hours of the year, I think about Time.  I don't think too long, and not too hard -I reserve that sort of thinking for Super Bowl odds, but I do reflect upon the subject.

For instance:  I am currently wondering whether the flow of time is unidirectional.  In other words, does time flow only in one direction, 'towards' the future?  Or can time 'reverse' flow and go in the other direction, 'towards' the past?  Can an object (or a person) move through time in either direction?  Or in both directions at once?

In the three physical dimensions, movement is not limited to one direction (reflect on it), so why should Time be?  If Time is truly a dimension and not merely a measure of degradation (see our old friend entropy), then it shouldn't be any more restricted in its movement than a physical dimension.  And, according to mathematicians, there are equations that pretty much prove that Time exists as a dimension.  Either it does, or the universe as we know it goes 'poof'.  Unless there are yet-to-be-defined mathematics that equate 'poof' to a happy continuous existence, I'll accept the former explanation.

So, then, which direction in Time are we moving?  

From all appearances, it would seem that Time is flowing in the direction of least resistance, in step with entropy.  We and all other objects in our universe are moving in a temporal direction that corresponds to the increasing disorganization of matter.  For many of us, a quick look in the mirror each morning supports this hypothesis.

But what's to say that must always be true?  

Doesn't Newton's Third Law of Motion state, 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'?  What if this is true for movement in Time? 

If so, then movement 'forward' in Time is either a reaction to an opposite and equal force, or moving 'forward' in Time creates an opposite and equal reaction.  Either way, something (object or force) is going the other direction.

OK, this is starting to go beyond reflection, and my brain is protesting at the unusual exercise. Time to quickly wrap this up.  Hmmm, 'quickly'.  That implies another property of Time - speed.  Does Time move at different rates?  Does Time move 'swiftly' forward but 'slowly' backward, like a car?

Ouch, I can take no more!  I think I'll wait until I've seen that new Brad Pitt movie, 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button', before reflecting any further.  

According to the trailers and promos, his character grows younger throughout the film, in full reverse to everyone else.  Of course, if he were truly moving in reverse in Time, he would get stupider as he got younger.  Unless, the collection of experience is independent of the directionality of Time, which would mean that different objects or energies could move in opposite directions in Time, simultaneously.  Damn!  There I go again.  Stopping now...

Falling Into Christmas

By this time in a usual year, I would be donning my Christmas garb, practicing my hearty ho-ho's, and looking forward to lots of good things to eat and drink.

Which is another way of saying I'd be well into the spirit of the season and comfortably ahead of schedule in shopping.

In a normal year my thoughts would turn to Christmas preparation (anticipation being reserved for kids), oh, about December 1st.  It would be just the occasional thought.  Come Dec 10th I would be more or less focused, and by Dec 15th rabidly on task.

But this year I seem to be stepping off my back foot, or stepping while the rug is being pulled out from under me.  I seem to be falling into Christmas...

Just a few days ago I was still thinking of the usual chores of life, made slightly more complicated by this economic 'meltdown' (maybe that is the global warming they've been talking about, cause it sure isn't warm right now).

Now I am incredibly late in my duties and experiencing the angstiest of Christmas angsts ever.

I hope my family will forgive me if I just give up right now and sit by the fire and drink a nice merlot.  This is a holiday about love, warmth, and peace, after all, and not frantic dashing here and there, standing in long, long lines, and combating gridlock traffic.

I hope they will accept that I am fallible and only getting more so. 

And I hope they like gift certificates...

Merry Christmas !!!

Close-captioning for Dyslexics

I happened into a bar this evening for a bit of refreshment.  Playing on the big screen was a football contest between the New York Giants and Seattle Seahawks.  Since the ambience of the bar called for constant music, the sound was turned off on the TV, with captioning enabled.

Now captioning has been with us for decades, so the art should have long ago become a science, but you wouldn't have believed so from this night's telecast.

Incomprehensible gibberish played in white lettering across the black captioning box.  Every now and then a recognizable word or couple of words would pop up, but mostly I was left wondering if the captions were in Aramaic, or maybe Cherokee.

Phrases such as '..thud do and 10' gave me some hope I would grow to comprehend, but then a new line beginning with the hopeful 'Al:' would devolve into a random scrabble-fest of unknowable content. 

Stymied.

I won't say which network aired the game, but its initials do not stand for 'Not Bad Captioning'.

Luckily for patrons of noisy bars and for deaf football fans everywhere, the game can be enjoyed without 'expert' comment. 

Poetry Break 1: Bernie Madoff

50 billion dollars dancing

On Bernie Madoff's lap

Such a sunny fellow

Such a peachy chap

Give him all your savings, he gives you back some rope

More than enough to hang yourself

When you run out of hope

50 billion dollars dancing

In Bernie Madoff's lair

He's a trusty fellow

Hope he gets the chair

R.I.P. Deep Throat

Mark Felt, the man known as 'Deep Throat' for his role as confidential Watergate informant to investigative reporters Woodward and Bernstein, has left this world at 95.  Felt, a former high-ranking FBI careerist, admitted in 2005 to being the reporters' source, after years of silence.  The revelation met with a general 'ho-hum' from some and a mutter of subdued approval from most.  

Now that Mr. Felt has passed away, some critics have come out of the woodwork to speculate that his motives may have been selfish and not as honorable as previously assumed.  They speculate that he spoke out of anger of not getting the FBI top job after J. Edgar Hoover, or that he was placing the FBI ahead of, and somehow above, the President (as if that would be a bad thing!).

I say the critics have it wrong.  Back in 1973, the FBI clearly had gathered substantial information about the break-in at the democratic campaign headquarters at the Watergate hotel.  Just as clearly Nixon and his staff were pressing hard behind the scenes to keep that information from congress and the public.  

Under normal circumstances, the FBI would have pursued the leads, but with the President's pressure play stifling this option, there was really only one alternative.   So off to that DC garage in a trench coat went Mark Felt, passing information to reporters who would do what the FBI couldn't.

I choose to view the man as a patriot and frustrated law enforcement lifer who couldn't bear to allow anyone, even the President, to break the law and manipulate the FBI to cover it up.  He should get equal credit with Woodward, Bernstein, and the Washington Post, for stopping Nixon's machine and giving us at least a couple of extra decades of relatively corruption-free executive government.  Too bad there haven't been any like-minded individuals around (in the FBI or the press) to keep Bush-Cheney in line.

No, the few critics popping up now are wrong.  Mr. Mark 'Deep Throat' Felt will go down in history as a hero - perhaps even as the patron saint of whistle-blowers.  Rest easy, sir.

The Infrastructure of Love

The Beatles once sang in a tune, 'money can't buy me love'.    You can argue otherwise, but I tend to agree with the Fab Four.  Strictly speaking, love can and does happen, even when the lovers are penniless.

But there is no doubt that money does enable love.  It allows the proper setting of romantic atmosphere - candlelit dinners, adventurous travel, lavish gifts, and whatever else the love-struck human with available cash can conjure to please the object of their affection.

This begs the question whether the current depression will have any effect on love.  Will we love less? Will love be less successful?  Or will love conquer all, and usher in a new age of non-commercial romance?

Hope and our romanticism makes us believe the answers should be No, No, and Oh Yes.  The pragmatist in us tells us the answers likely will be No, Yes, and Not In This Life Bubba.

We won't love less.  Nothing can stop the love.  Not even Bernie Madoff.    But love won't be as easy to realize, without the usual props that money helps provide.  And we are too attuned to wrapping love in gifts to ever stop commercializing it.

So, during this economic crisis, will we continue to feel love, but act on our feelings less often, making fewer commitments?  Maybe.  

I could be wrong, and we may enter into a period of wildly enthusiastic love as a means of escaping our problems.  Love can work that way, and as emotional crutches go, it's got to rank above excessive drug use and hyper-evangelistic religion.  And unlike those two common fallbacks in a crisis, over-indulging in love has fewer immediate pitfalls.  Love is unlikely to kill your liver in a month, or lead you to give all your money and belongings to a cable channel televangelist.

Or, we may be temporarily doomed to romantic dreaming, until we again have the means to build the intricate, intimate, infrastructure of love.

Hurry the recovery!

Morning Babble-On 5

Ah Wednesday!  Half way to the weekend ...

Sole-O Diplomacy - After years spent attempting to perfect the 'shoe bomb', radical islamic terrorists have been shown the way forward by an Iraqi TV reporter.  Getting an American president to duck (twice) from shoes (allegedly size 10) tossed by an indignant newsie was a public relations coup. One of a magnitude that has left Osama bin Laden Kermit-green with envy. We can expect elite shoe-tossing squads to form soon.

Free Money - A new low in both interests rates and governmental sense and reason was reached on Tuesday, when the Fed announced it would cut it's prime rate to 'between zero and .25 percent'.  What's next?  Maybe Ford, GM, and Chrysler will announce an incentive deal for negative 0.99% financing.  Under the plan, the longer the loan period, the less you pay! I can gel with that.  Meanwhile banks will likely raise the rates they charge consumers for credit cards by 5%. Again.

Will the last honest person please turn off the lights - Are there any honest brokers left on Wall Street?  There must be at least one.  Ironically it is probably someone nobody trusts, unlike Bernie Madoff, who everyone trusted.  Anyway, if you are there, please turn off the lights when you leave.  Cancel the mail, close shop, and take up a job at Ford, GM, or Chrysler. 

20 Megawatts

It is raining here in Los Angeles this evening.  The skies clouded up at dusk, building into a solid grey overcast, and now we are getting it.

Odd, then, that I should be telling you about a milestone in clean energy our family reached not long ago.  

We passed 20,000 kilowatt-hours of power generated by solar panels we installed back in 2003.

That's 20 megawatts we've poured into the 'grid' that otherwise wouldn't have been there.  Useful, stuff, especially if more people were doing it.

But there is a catch.  It's expensive.   And even though we generated all that power, we may never see the cost of the system paid back.  That's because our Department of Water and Power (DWP) charges a minimum fee for connection to the grid.  Even in months where we generate more power than we use, giving the DWP extra energy to sell, we end up paying for the privilege.

Of course, our monthly energy costs are lower than they would be without the system.  The power generated in excess of what we use goes into the grid and as it does it spins our electrical meter backwards, taking power off the scale.  That energy 'credit' helps keep the electric portion of our energy bill manageable.

Still, if Governor Schwarzenegger wants his 'million solar roofs' dream to succeed, he'll need to create incentives that work.  That will mean battling both the greed of the private utilities and the sluggish bureaucracy of the public ones (like our DWP).  Rebates must be offered and paid promptly (ours still hasn't been - after 5  years), and there should be no such thing as paying to provide power.  If you generate more than you use, then you should pay nothing - or maybe get paid for the excess (but let's not hope for too much).

Economic snafus aside, though, it feels good knowing we are helping...

Every little megawatt counts!

Paranoia Normal

What horrific crisis of the soul befouls our American news media these days?

That brief phase of euphoric hope that warmed even the cold-pressed hearts of the press after Obama's election win? Gone. Vanished into the greedy, needy, rush for news that grabs attention.

There are plenty of depressing actual facts to report, so you would think that would be enough.

But no, our media feel the need to serve up heaping helpings of dire speculation on a dismal future.  It's as if they want society to collapse into chaos so they have something interesting to report - and maybe sell tickets to.

It's paranoia sold as a commodity.  Let's not buy.

Morning Babble 4

T.G.I.F. has never been a more apt sentiment than this week.

Die Detroit Die - Is it just me, or does it seem to everyone that our congressional representatives are behaving like spoiled, quarreling children at recess?  Now, I am not personally in favor of a carte-blanche bailout to the Big Three, but I think they deserve a little more respectful attention than our reps have given them.  And who is responsible for the latest snafu?  The party of business, of course, the GOP, the Re-pub-li-cans!  It might be up to their lame duck President to save the day. Woo-boy, are we in trouble...

Oh My, Chicago, Oh My - Some things never change.  The City of Broad Shoulders, famed for its entrenched political machines, seems destined to forever carry that weighty ethical burden.  This latest (and perhaps greatest) involving an arrested and amazingly corrupt Governor, may in fact be a problem for the whole state of Illinois, but everyone will blame Chicago and it's rough and tumble politics.  This whole mess makes shamed ex-New York Governor Elliot Spitzer's peccadilloes look positively lame by comparison, in a Clintonian sort of way.  And no-one blamed New York City politics for that one.  

Watching The Jobs Fly - Away that is.  What on Earth was Bank 0f American thinking?  That already giant banking enterprise took full advantage of the woes of other banks and brokerage firms in the economic meltdown, and bought them up to make itself even more powerful and massive. But now we hear they are laying off up to 35,000 workers over the next three years.  I'll bet that wasn't listed in the takeover plans!  The absolute worst example of corporate greed and callousness to come out of this whole mess.  

Toys For Boys - Not Less, But Fewer

This is shaping up to be a miserable Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you might be celebrating this season.  Miserable, that is, for 'boys' old enough to shave, and even worse for those able to remember the Reagan administration from direct experience.

And pretty darn frustrating for wives, lovers, mothers, and friends who can no longer find that 'perfect' gift.

A recent exploration of the local malls revealed a dearth of stores hawking the kind of goods that older boys love to get as presents.   The Sharper Image is gone, gone, gone.  Brookstone is still there, but somehow just doesn't fill the gap left in the shopping continuum.  The Discovery Store seems mostly gone - the web site doesn't even provide a store locator, meaning one less option for last-minute gifts.  The Apple Store is present and accounted for, but how many iPods does a boy need?

So. Fewer weird, all-but-useless, yet interesting electronic gadgets for us this year.  No quiet air filtration fans to remove allergens from our playrooms.  No vibrating chairs with built-in iPod chargers and drink coolers.  Looking happy and surprised when getting gifts will be tougher.  

The picture is brighter for girls, though, if that aforementioned mall exploration is any judge.  No shortage of stores selling apparel of all styles for that demographic. 

At least we poor, gadget-bereft males can take solace in providing our wives, lovers, mothers, and friends with the perfect gift.

More Fewers and Fewer Lesses

In less time than it takes for you to read slightly fewer words than there are in this sentence, some highly-paid writer, somewhere, will mix up their use of the adjectives 'fewer' and 'less'.

Most of the time it's a case of 'less' being used when the correct option is 'fewer'.  As in 'the change affects less people', or, 'the downturn may end up  costing the economy less jobs than expected.'

Often the negative effect is barely noticeable, and the mistake can be tolerated.

Sometimes it can't.

I was watching a movie on TV the other day and one of those 'tags' popped up at the bottom of the screen.  

It read,  'Move Movies,  Less Commercials'.    

The tag popped up so often and for so long each time during the movie's run that I began wishing for,

'Less Movie, More Commercials'.

Maybe that was the plan all along.

The Big Three On Welfare

Well-televised 'negotiations' continue around the 'bailout' for the Big Three US automakers.  They wanted $25 billion initially, then $34 billion.  Now it seems like they will get $15 billion to start, with more later if they behave themselves.

Part of the deal is the appointment of a 'car czar' to oversee the bailout.  This czar will ride herd on the automakers to make sure they are 'responsible to the taxpayers'.   Like the defense industry is responsible to the taxpayers ...

So what does this mean?  Will cars be made by congressional committee?  Will we end up one day driving the US equivalent of the Yugo?  Or will we end up paying $5000 for a shift knob?

Given Congress's current plan - and it does belong to Congress, since President Bush is nowhere in the mix and President-to-be Obama is keeping his head down on this issue (smart man), I'd really prefer the Big Three just go quietly bankrupt.

After all, what have the US automakers done for us lately?  

Well, they have:

- Closed factories and sent jobs overseas since the late 80's

- Persisted with fuel and environmental unfriendly SUVs 

- Bought foreign makers and ruined them (e.g., Ford and Volvo)

- Were bought by foreign makers and nearly ruined them (e.g., Daimler-Benz and Chrysler)

- Killed the electric car at the exact moment the US makers had a lead in that technology (GM)

- Blocked every attempt to start a new automaker in the US since the 30's.

A sterling record, I must say.  But not sufficient to hate the Big Three enough to subject them to the ministrations of a 'car czar', or any kind of 'czar'.   When has an appointed 'czar' ever done anything right in US government (remember the 'energy czar(s)')?  

No. Better to let them go into bankruptcy and try to renew themselves.  If they can't, that's business, and maybe we can finally get some new car companies in the US who embrace technology and don't try to squash it.

The Muddle East

Will we ever get our policy in the Middle East right?

We act in the area as if our rightness should be obvious to all, and if not, we can make them pay attention with our might.  We have stubbornly believed that our power and economic cleverness can bring permanent, positive changes, even when it's been obvious those only last while we are physically present.  Once we go away, it's business as usual.

And why not?  Most middle eastern countries have millennia-long ties with their neighbors, and we are far away.  Once we are gone, they must live with these neighbors, so why should they side with us?

We must find ways to connect with these countries which don't require the constant in-your-face presence of military might.

We must also find ways to help our close allies like Israel live with their neighbors without our constant help.  That help has been alienating and Israel would do better with its Arab neighbors without it (once those neighbors agree to live peacefully, that is).

Both are tall orders, which is why they have gone so long without filling. But we must fill them, or continue to muddle on in the Middle East, bringing no permanent improvement despite all of our best efforts.

Walking in LA

It's almost a cliche to say that 'nobody walks in LA', but it holds more than a grain of truth.  Unlike New York, say, or even hilly San Francisco, Los Angeles does not favor those who travel on foot.  But there are those of us who attempt it, from time to time.

There are sections of LA that are made to be walked, sections that contain closely packed stores, restaurants, and other amusements, but these sections are widely scattered across the city, and long, near featureless blocks must be crossed to get from one to another. Where the pedestrian can go for hours in New York without a break in interesting sights, in LA a great deal of patience and perseverance is required.

In LA the walker must also be at peace with internal dialogue, since the spacious gaps permit a total submersion into thoughts, welcome or otherwise.  If you have an issue waiting in the green room of your consciousness, it will burst onstage at some point during a walk in LA, guaranteed.  Best then, to be of stable personality - or on a suitable prescription, before burning any shoe leather.

Those of us who do throw caution and good judgement to the winds and take a walk in Los Angeles find that there is an upside.  More than one if you take the benefit that comes from exercise as a given.  Walking in LA allows us to see a city that is totally hidden from a car.  I believe it was the late, great comic monologist Spalding Gray who called the driving perspective a '35 mile per hour mentality', in that if something can't be seen from a car moving 35 miles per hour then it was effectively invisible.  

Walking cures this - in spades.  You would be amazed how many hidden stores, historic buildings, places of other interest, and nuances of culture are revealed to the curious pedestrian.  

As an example, on a recent walk through Pasadena (not LA that is true, but close and the principal holds) I noticed that Honda had an advanced R&D center right in Old Town, and that the Disney Store had it's 'world headquarters' in a mostly unmarked and unidentified sprawling complex on Raymond street.  A small plaque near the entrance was all that identified the place.

Not world-shattering news you say?  Maybe, but these are things you would never notice from a car, and I for one am interested why, for instance, Honda has an R&D center in Pasadena.   Is it because of the proximity of Caltech?  Or are they just hiding?

The Disney Store HQ certainly seems to be.  Hiding, that is.  Can't imagine why, and I have even less a clue as to why they would be hiding in Pasadena and not nearby Burbank, where other (also largely incognito) Disney offices abound.  Maybe Burbank said, 'Enough! No More!' ... ?

Those mysteries I may never solve, but there will be more, as long as I keep on walking in (and around) LA.

Ducks On Slugs

I have found a new measure of happiness.  

Happy as a lark.  Happy as a clam.  Happy as a pig in shit.   

These all pale in comparison to my new measure, which is also animal oriented:

Happy as ducks on slugs

Let me explain...

Ducks make interesting pets, but they aren't exactly affectionate.  They won't fight too much if picked up, but generally they keep you at a distance.  Like the two ducks in our family.

But they are much nicer when they are 'on' slugs...

The common gray garden slug, Deroceras (Agriolimax) reticulatum, is an irritating pest and a generally unloved creature.  It hides by day in some cool, moist spot and slides out at night to munch on your carefully-tended plants.  

Our 'pet' Khaki Campbell ducks, Sybil and Odysseus (OD), have a fondness for slugs edging towards mania, it turns out.  When I offer them slugs I've collected (on late night sweeps of the garden), they snap them up as happily as, well, larks, clams, or those pigs I mentioned.  Happier even.

Since I've been providing this slugfeast, Sybil and OD have been much fonder of me.  They waddle up in the morning looking expectant.  After gulping down the slugs they charge about in the grass probing every possible hiding place the ducks seem to know (instinctively?) slugs might use.  They even find a few and spend the day in what, for ducks, seems a good mood.

If I've provided enough slugs, the ducks might even get close and let me pet them without flinching (too much).  This goes against Sybil and OD's ducky instincts and is a true measure of just how incredibly Happy slugs make them.

So this Holiday Season, and for the New Year, let's all of us reach for a new level of happiness.  Not content to be merely 'as happy as humanly possible',

May We All Be As Happy As Ducks On Slugs!

Morning Babble 3

It's Thursday, which is usually one of the more peaceful and hopeful days of the week, coming as it does just before the clash of frantic catch-up work and weekend planning that is Friday.

Peaceful, but that doesn't mean there is nothing to wonder, worry, or complain about...

The price tag goes up - I guess the Big Three had to exact their pound of flesh for the humiliation meted out to then the last time they came to Washington.  They were sent home chastised on many levels, and shamed into shelving their beloved private jets.  Some were even bullied into publicly stating that would only accept $1 in salary for the next year.  No wonder then that they returned (in cheaper transport, including a hybrid car) to the Capital asking for $34 million in loans, up $9 million from the original $25 million requested.  Hmm, I wonder if 9 million is somewhere near the annual costs for upkeep on three corporate jets?  Revenge is sweet ...

Gas prices go down, down, down - This is a good thing, right?  Well, yes and no, but maybe not.  True, greed drove prices for oil (and therefore gas) to ridiculous highs this year - a year we now know was in recession, but the scale of the price drop has at least one serious implication.  All those SUV and truck drivers who parked their vehicles when prices were high, can happily hop back in now that prices have reverted almost to those of the good old days of pre-9/11.  Sure global warming is still a threat, but distant compared to the daily assault on the wallet high gas prices represented.  This return to excess might help perk up some of the auto industry's flagging sales, but it will also terribly confuse those responsible for leading the industry.  The sheer greed of sticking with high-profit SUVs and trucks might be too much for them, and low fuel prices might be a cue to do nothing, once again.

Implacable foes, back at it again - The past thirty years have seen some remarkable progress in international relations.  The cold war ended (more or less).  Apartheid ended and South Africa gained majority rule, and communist 'red' China is now just plain China and an essential partner in the US economy.  But there are some problems, it seems, that are harder to solve.  The smoldering enmity between India and Pakistan, which on occasion has turned to open armed conflict, is heating up again over the Mumbai attacks, just when it seemed to be cooling from the Nepalese conflict.  Both countries have nuclear weapons, and sadly, neither seem to be well-controlled by their governments.  At least that is the impression given by western (mainly US) media.  If India and Pakistan fall once again into direct armed conflict, it's hard to imagine how terrible the outcome could be.

A numbers game?

It seems there is no pleasing some people. And no lengths that some won't go to achieve their ends.  

California Congressman Joe Baca, leader of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus has sent President-elect Obama a letter demanding he select more latinos for his cabinet.  Obama has already announced New Mexico governor Bill Richardson as Commerce Secretary, but that just isn't enough for Joe.  

According to an article by Bloomberg's Hans Nichols published on Yahoo News this morning, Baca warned that Obama's legislative agenda could be jeopardized if the president-elect doesn't nominate additional Hispanics.  "If it's just one, he's going to have to answer to a lot of the issues that come before us," Baca was quoted as saying.  

Wow, we have a democratic congressman threatening a democratic President with what amounts to legislative extortion - now there's an example of the subtle use of power.  

In the Bloomberg/Yahoo article, Baca came under criticism from another California congressional representative and former Hispanic caucus member, Linda Sanchez.  She said that for her, "... it's not a numbers game." 

It is entirely understandable that a group representing the largest and fastest growing demographic in the US - latinos, would want a proportional voice in the cabinet, but the importance of getting that voice doesn't justify hamstringing the new President before he even gets in office.  

Recommending is one thing, and welcome, demanding and threatening is another, and is not.

This first term, Obama needs freedom to choose the most practical team he can put together to manage the economic crisis, and no one - not even for laudable reasons, should compromise his freedom of choice through political threats.

To read the full article as seen in Yahoo, click here.

Jupiter and Venus - Dancing with the Stars

Okay, not stars, planets, but it is still dancing.  

Okay it isn't, but it is still an astronomical rarity that is worth watching.

What is it?

Take a look at the sky just at twilight.  See the moon and then look for the two very bright 'stars' close to it in the sky.  The brightest one is Venus and the other is Jupiter.  

You will seldom see these two planets in such close conjunction in the sky and they make quite a show along with the moon.  That is it.

Tonight they will be so close to each other they might appear to overlap.  Over the next few days they will separate again. Kind of like dancing, see?

You will have to look very low in the sky and just at twilight (dusk for those of you who only know twilight from vampire fiction).

Here is a link to help you find it:  http://www.wwu.edu/depts/skywise/planets.html

Tough Choices, Wise Choices ...

It's a rare politician who will embrace a former opponent and invite them into close council. It's rarer still for anyone to do that with a Clinton.

But, Barack Obama has done it, naming fierce campaign adversary Hillary as his Secretary of State.  This move was long expected by pundits, but barely believed.

The President-elect didn't stop at one bold move.  He has kept Secretary of Defense Robert Gates onboard from the Bush cabinet, which may make strategic sense but certainly wasn't expected given Obama's campaign focus on a change in Iraq policy.  

There will likely be more bold moves to come, but nominating Clinton may prove his boldest, toughest choice of all. Will it prove to be a wise choice?  As the cliche says, only time will truly tell the tale.

For now, we can be comforted that Obama's picks appear to be well-considered.  They couldn't have been easy to make.

Clearing Up

Day 3 post-Thanksgiving and we are finally coming to grips with the clean-up.  

At our house we have reached that nexus where decreasing feast-induced lethargy meets the tail-end of tolerance for post-feast detritus.   The result is a burst of cleaning energy that won't again be seen until, say, January 4, 2009.

We hope that your Thanksgiving was a pleasant one, and that it was spent with family and friends, or at least a comfy chair and a good book.

We also hope  you sensibly stayed inside on 'Black Friday', and didn't partake in the fevered capitalism that increasingly defines us.  But if you did, we hope you scored a comfy chair and a nice book or two ...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today most of us will be with our family and friends, enjoying good food and conversation, and reflecting on the things that make life worth living.

So ignore the news today - it's all bad, I can tell you, and instead read (if you have the time) something comparatively light and amusing, like War and Peace.

And in the tranquility of this time, hours before the massive kitchen cleanup must start and excess calories worked (or slept) off, we can simply be content with our being. 

Remember, tomorrow will take care of itself, so focus on today.   Release your burdens and enjoy! 

And if you happen to live anywhere near a farm, don't look at the turkeys - it's a buzz kill.

Morning Babble 2

A few thoughts on the Day Before Thanksgiving...

Pardoning the Turkeys - Lame Duck President Bush has continued a 61 year tradition and pardoned his fellow-foul 'Pecan' and 'Pumpkin'.  The two turkeys were given a presidential pardon by Bush in a practice dating back to the Truman administration.  Bush quipped that one of the turkeys was present for the honor and the other in an 'undisclosed' location.  He may be engaging in the odd, strained josh now, but odds are he will be pardoning at least one other secure undisclosed turkey before he leaves office.

Tainted - One of the sad effects of George Bush's administration is the wholesale tainting of virtually all who served in it, at least at visible levels.  It may be hard for the most liberal of us to comprehend, but there were many very capable, honest, and dedicated people who served at the soon-to-be-former President's pleasure.  So it is logical that our new President may want to tap some of this expertise for his new administration.  The 'taint' can make this awkward if not impossible.  Unfortunately, he has already lost a possible head of the CIA due to this taint, when John Brennan, who served under George Tennant in the Bush Administration, took his name off the table after some 'liberal bloggers' started a 'campaign' against him. We should all bite our collective tongues and let Obama make the best choices he can make.

A New Hope -  Lightly observed by the news, and barely discussed, dropping diesel fuel prices present a major booster shot for the economy.  One of the biggest strains on budgets from the start of 2007 through late summer 2008 was rapidly rising diesel prices, which peaked at over $5 per gallon.  The rise increased the cost for almost all goods sold and food produced around the world.  All manufactured goods are shipped or trucked at some stage and that takes diesel fuel.  Crops are sowed and harvested using equipment that runs on diesel.  Now that diesel has dropped below $2.50 per gallon in most places in the US, a great inflationary pressure has been removed.  It may take a while before we reap the benefits, as many companies may keep transport costs high as long as they can to recoup losses, but reap we will, eventually.   This will be a great aid to the Fed who with this help can better afford to keep interest rates low to boost the economy without fear of inflation.

Who Knew?

Who new the government had so much money to throw around? 

It has always seemed there wasn't much in the coffers when we asked for, say, health insurance for everyone, or relief to victims of disasters like those made homeless by Hurricane Katrina.

Or for AIDS relief in Africa, for which President Bush pledged, what, $10 billion?  The most devastating plague of modern times, mind you, and we give a relative pittance.

And our country's automakers, representing the very core of American prosperity over the past century, schlep out to DC crammed into their teensy private jets, and get what?  NaDa!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...

This morning Secretary Paulson announced another $800 billion of bailout relief for affected financial institutions. Presumably so they will start giving out loans to the public again.  I guess the initial $700 billion wasn't enough.

Where are we suddenly finding that kind of money?

We are either printing it or borrowing it, or both most likely.  It's a case of find the money to fix (we hope) the immediate problem now, and worry about the consequences later.  And , Oh Boy, there will be consequences!

For the amount of taxpayer (or borrowed Chinese?) money the government is throwing around, wouldn't it be cheaper to just give every US citizen a million bucks in savings bonds and be done with it?

I promise to give some of my million to AIDS relief and The Red Cross. I'll even buy something from Ford, Chrysler, or GM ...

Morning Babble

Monday mornings are soo interesting...

More bailouts - You have to wonder who makes the decisions on the economy in the Bush administration, don't you?  The news upon awakening this morning is that Citigroup is getting assistance from the gov to the tune of at least $20 billion.  Shares of that 'bank' shot up 60% as a result.  Check back a few weeks and contrast this situation with that of Washington Mutual, another 'bank' that needed some assistance.  Did it get it?  Not in a good way.  The gov seized it and sold off its banking assets to Morgan Chase.  Washington Mutual's stock fell off the board and all of its thousands of investors, big and small, lost every penny. Why the difference?  Probably it was my fault.  You see, I owned stock in WAMU, but none (that I know of) in Citigroup.  

Obama's economic team - More evidence, if any is needed, that George Bush is asleep at the wheel, or isn't allowed near the wheel anymore, was the importance given President-elect Obama introducing his economic team this morning.  All people with impressive resumes, and actual government experience gained during the Clinton economic glory years.  I'm not sure if that can be so easily translated into success, given the mess the Bush gov has gotten us into to, thank-you-very-much, but we can always hope what worked before will work again, and maybe these folks have a few new ideas up their collective sleeves as well.

Better late than never - We all know that change comes slowly to the Roman Catholic Church, steeped as it is in its traditions.  But sometimes this gets all a bit too ridiculous.  News came today that the 'official vatican newspaper' has published a statement that appears to forgive John Lennon for his infamous comment that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.  Well, if L'Osservatore Romano says so, it must be true.  After forty-two years, all is forgiven.  I wonder what the Pope has in his record collection?

Big Bang in a Box

Recently, the Science Channel re-ran a 2004 program called 'Parallel Universe', a BBC production about string theory, membrane theory, the 11th dimension, parallel universes, and, of course, the Big Bang.  

I felt compelled to watch it.

It was mesmerizing, if way beyond my poor capacity to comprehend, and soon I was in a tonic state of some sort, staring at the TV screen and drooling slightly.

And, then, almost as an afterthought following the last commercial of the hour, came a revelation that sparked my every dormant dendrite:   One of the physicists featured on the program said he thought it was possible to create a new universe in the lab.

The producers of the show had the camera sweep across this scientist's office, showing piles of papers in disarray on the desk, shelves, and the floor, as if in comment on the state of his mind.  But there was no commentary or opposing opinions to contradict him.

This physicist further stated that he thought it very likely he could do it, and it would be safe too.  Once created, the growing universe would splice itself off into it's own space, and it would not displace our own universe. We'd be OK. 

At this point the producers had my full attention, and then the show ended!  What?  Leave us hanging with the news that a disorganized geek says he can create a new universe, with stars and galaxies and maybe life and everything, and then just stop the show?

Then it hit me.  This was 2004, four years ago.  Maybe this guy has already done it.  Maybe more than once.  

Then I thought, if he can do it, what does that say about the origin of our own universe?  I sure hope God had a neater office than this guy.

And then I had one last thought before my naturally short attention span moved me on to another subject:  This would make one cool gift!

Think about it.  Up to now you've been able to give someone the gift of naming a star after them.  Big Deal!

Now you can give them their very own universe, their personal ...

Big Bang in a Box 

Emergency Weight Loss For The Holidays

The Holidays. It's a season of gifting and receiving; a special time to spend with loved ones old and new.

It is also a season of eating. 

Constant, relentless eating.  

The adopted image of the season to many of us is a jolly fat man in a red suit, but whatever our background we all understand that this is the time to ... EAT.

And we do it with no guilt, in the spirit of the season.

No guilt, that is, until after the New Year when the gifted clothes don't fit, and we glumly consider a never-ending series of fat-burning gym visits. 

... Or a summer spent wearing oversize Hawaiian shirts.

Well, this year you can avoid the guilt, the gym visits, and more importantly those shirts, by adopting Wayne's Emergency Weight Loss Regimen.

And here it is, in simple, easy to follow steps:

Join (or form) a religion with strict dietary restrictions

Like a religion than bans the eating of foul (i.e., chicken, turkey, parrots). If you or a member of your household are also Hindu and Jewish, you will have drastically reduced the calories available to you from meat. A good mutton is hard to come by, so that leaves just fish, which we all know is healthier for you. Doesn't mercury actually burn calories ?  [If you are Vegan you are ahead in this game, but wow are you weird!]

Take up a sport for the Holidays

Like rowing. Nothing burns calories like rowing. Nothing. Not even starvation. If you survive, you WILL be thinner.

Get involved in the new administration

Join President-Elect Obama's transition team (It's probably not too late). You will have so much work to do between now and January 20th, there will be no time to eat. Quick meals will be on order: for Thanksgiving you might expect to enjoy a slurry of intravenous turkey with a cold compress of mashed potatoes, followed by a cranberry ice cream enema. (Must stay mobile!)

and, last but not least, if the first three items aren't practical for you, try:

Wayne's modified golden rule of eating

Eat like your mother said you should, using a variation on the old saw, 'breakfast is golden, lunch is silver, and dinner is bronze'.

Updating this ancient bit of wisdom we get, 'breakfast is Mean, lunch is Lean, and dinner is Green'.

Which simply means: have whatever fats you can shove in your mouth for breakfast, eat nothing but low or no-fat foods for lunch, and nothing but vegetables, fruits, and salads (nonfat dressing) for dinner.

This may prove challenging, and some would prefer to starve, or join a rowing team. But if you fit in neither category, are not the religion-forming type, and can't see yourself as a key Obama councilor, then give this regimen a try.

If you do, you'll certainly be a killjoy at holiday dinners, but you'll be a thinner killjoy come Spring!

Three Amigos Revisited

The 'big' three automakers were in front of congressional committees today, asking for 25 billion in what were being described as 'bridge' loans.   

Just a little to tide them over, I guess.

At the heart of the discussions was whether the automaker's truest path back to financial well-being, if such a thing is even possible, would be through a loan, or through bankruptcy reorganization.

Financial experts spoke in favor of bankruptcy protection, while the heads of the Amigos spoke adamantly against that option and in favor of a loan.  This despite the fact that many believed the Amigos had more to gain through Chapter 7.

It all boils down to perspective: would YOU buy a car from a company that was in bankruptcy?  Sure, most of us know that corporate bankruptcy is more a safe haven from creditors than a financial death row, but still ...  who would honor the warranty and fix your car if the company DID die?

Our legislators and executives have a difficult decision ahead.  The path they choose will affect tens of thousands of workers, partner companies, investors, and ultimately millions of consumers.

Let's hope they come up with something good.

About Slash

Slash is this blog's mascot.  You can see his handsome mug right on this page.

He is, of course, a Great White Shark, and this picture of him was taken by me while trembling in a cage off Guadalupe Isand (Mexico) in the fall of 2005.

Slash was pretty banged up, with scars all over and a few teeth missing.  The latter is unusual for sharks since teeth are constantly being replaced.  In Slash's case, however, his 'gums' had been damaged, probably by a steel leader on a fishing line, and the teeth hadn't been replaced (yet).

I wouldn't worry about him too much.  He's a big fellow, with a best estimate of his size being just over 16 feet.  And he was very fat, which meant he was eating well.

If Slash manages to break all the fishing lines he gets hooked on (while eating the tuna and other fish that were on the hook to start with), and avoids trophy hunters and finning operations, and stays out of trouble with bigger sharks, he might just live to be a really big boy, say 19-20 ft. 

As sharks go, Slash didn't come off as terribly aggressive.  He just seemed interested in everything, particularly the half -tuna (bluefin) that was the lure to bring the sharks in.

The bait 'wranglers' were told to pull it away from approaching sharks, but Slash outsmarted them.  After a couple of passes where the bait was pulled away before he could bite, Slash changed tactics and approached the bait from under the boat, where he was hidden until the last moment from the wranglers up top.  He won his prize.  And every one of us on the trip learned that sharks are not mindless.

By virtue of his persistence and willingness to adapt, and by his focus on things that mattered (the bait) and not on things that didn't (the divers in the cage), Slash proved inspirational.  

And that's why you see him smiling at the top of this blog.

HIV Cure? (Uh, no ... not yet)

It was in the news last week that a doctor in Germany had apparently 'cured' a patient of HIV.   Reports of the event cautioned that, although the patient had shown no signs of the virus for 20 months, it didn't mean a certain cure.  Only time would tell.

But what of this?  Is this what HIV/AIDS sufferers have been waiting for?

Not directly at least.  The patient in this case was given a 'targeted' bone marrow transplant, a procedure which is risky, and expensive.  Not many HMOs or medical plans would pay for such a treatment.  And it is way too complex and expensive to be of any help for the millions of HIV/AIDS victims in Africa.

The technique used does shed some helpful light on the nature of resistance to HIV infection.  The patient's own marrow was destroyed, then stem cells were injected from a donor genetically resistant to HIV infection.  The new marrow cells took hold and produced blood cells that restored the patient's immune system - only this time the immune system was 'supercharged' to handle HIV.  

The pumped-up immune system was achieved by the donor's natural resistance to HIV.  The apparent success of the treatment supports the hypothesis that such resistance to HIV happens due to defensive blood cells that are genetically better at fighting HIV.

This knowledge may lead to better treatments, possibly even a cure that might work for everyone.  But we are not there yet.

For now, this particular 'cure' will be reserved for special trials, or for people who can afford the cost and are willing to take the risk of bone marrow transplant.

Smoke On The Water

(photo courtesy of Saul Traiger)

I ferried over to Avalon on Santa Catalina Island today to enjoy some SCUBA diving at the Casino Point Dive Park.

Normally, the Island is a refuge from any smog or 'haze' from the mainland, but today was another situation. Vast walls of smoke shading from beige to brown to near black reached out towards the island like the tentacles of an octopus. The ferry out seemed to be traveling in its own bubble of clearer air through a sea of smoke.

In Avalon the winds were slight, but coming from the direction of the mainland, and brought with them a haze of smoke that hung over the beautiful harbor and collected against the surrounding hills.

The island city had its own brush with catastrophic fire in 2007, with encircling walls of flame at one point threatening the residents. The devastation was distant today, communicated by the smoke from the mainland fires, a reminder of bad things possible even in paradise.

Underwater it was peaceful and serene, with good visibility...

Wild Fires

Southern California can seem an idyllic place to live.   It's warm but pleasantly dry, the sun shines 320 days a year, and there are a lot of celebrities to gawk at.

But there are downsides, and one of the big ones is the constant risk of wild fires erupting and taking away lives and homes.  

This can happen anytime of the year except the wettest part of the wet season (late December through, say, March), when the few paltry inches of rain that fall somehow manage to keep potential tinder too soggy to burn.

The cruelest time for fires is right now, the late fall heading into winter.  There may have already been a little rain by then (there was a bit this year), and the temperatures can drop at night to the point sweaters are donned and furnaces stoked.  Fires, at least unintentional ones outside the home, are far from mind.

But the fickle winds that often bring cooling breezes from the ocean can shift to bring dry winds through the mountains from the vast California desert. And these winds do not need to be hot to do their damage, just dry.  And they are very dry.

In the past two days such winds from the inland have helped spread small fires into firestorms that have caused havoc in two places:  Montecito, a very upscale community home to many celebrities and located near Santa Barbara on the coast, and Sylmar, an inland town in the northeastern San Fernando Valley, near the I-5 freeway north of Los Angeles.

Montecito saw homes lost and at least one reported death.  In Sylmar, the winds coming from the desert reached gusts of 76 miles per hour.  In the face of near-hurricane forces such as that, fire fighters were overwhelmed, and many, many homes were lost.   

There may be more before the wet season finally comes, taking the threat of fire away until next year. 

So, please, those of you who live in parts of this country, and the world, where right now it is cold, rainy, possibly snowing.  When you look out your windows and see weather similar to that which stymied Scott in the Antarctic, think of us living here in sunny California and wish some of that stuff our way...

Bush and Smart Government

In New York for an economic summit, President George Bush spoke to the press on Thursday in defense of 'US-style free enterprise'.

According to an article by Ben Feller of the Associated Press, Bush went on to state that government intervention is not a cure-all.  'Our aim should not be more government.  It should be smarter government.'

I like that.  As his presidency passes into history as perhaps the most inept (at best) administration of all, George Bush admits we need smarter government.  

Smarter than his, presumably, which shows a mature self-realization I wouldn't have credited him with, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, right there on the web.

This Just In - Credit Card Companies in Big Trouble

This bit of news was prominent on Yahoo this morning:

'Regulators Nix Credit Card Debt Forgiveness Plan'

It seems that many credit card holders, even those with 'strong credit records' are becoming unable to repay their balances, and can't qualify for any repayment options. (Big Surprise!)

The card companies wanted federal approval for a program to forgive up to 40% of the debt.

At first, this sounded like a good plan to me, but there was a catch:  The companies wanted to be able to defer official recognition of any losses to them for several years, making their current books look healthier and saving the bad news for later years, when, presumably, the bottom line would be flush again and could take the hit.

The gov said a firm 'No' to that.  Probably a wise idea.  Better to take your lumps all at once and get it over with.

Besides, the article noted that only about 50,000 credit card holders would likely be involved in the program, which seems like it was targeted at higher income customers with very large limits and therefore huge balances.  

The assistance was to come in the form of forgiven debt, which the borrower would not have to declare as income on their taxes for several years.  When they finally did declare it, the credit companies would then declare the loss.  Really does sound like a sweetheart deal between the credit companies and their richest customers.  

No plan that helps so few when many, many, more are in trouble should ever be approved.

Glad it got canned, then...

How to Jump Start The Economy For The Holidays

Although I am definitely not an expert (or even a talented amateur) economist, it's painfully clear that neither are those who are labeled experts and run (ruin) our economy.

First they say they will buy bad mortgage loans, then they take it back. (Wait! Wait! I have an even better idea...)

OK.  If those idiots are experts, then so am I.  Here are my suggestions on how to put more money in the hands of the consumers, where it will do the most good:

Restore the tax deduction for interest on personal loans - You might not remember, but until the Reagan Administration, any interest you incurred on credit card or other personal loan debt was deductible from your federal income taxes.   Loading up your credit card buying gifts doesn't look so bad if the usurious 24% interest rate the banks charge (the same banks we are bailing out, mind you) is paid for by the taxpayers.  Hey, the same principle applied to mortgage interest helped make buying a home instead of renting the thing to do.

Cap credit card interest at a reasonable maximum - Look, I am all in favor of letting companies make a profit, but banks are charging their credit card customers up to 24% (or more) in interest on their balances.  That's significantly higher than the highest rate those same banks will give you for keeping your money with them.  You'd be lucky if you found a typical savings account that earns more than 3%.   That's quite a gap.  So, to help consumers feel good about racking up debt buying gifts this holiday season, pass a bill to cap consumer credit interest at 15%.  That's still a healthy margin for the banks, but more manageable for the rest of us.

Temporarily reduce sales tax - You want people to buy more?  Make it cost less!  Now, I know that many state and local coffers are nearly empty from the economic meltdown, and lowering a tax that fills those coffers may seem wildly insane, but think it over.  You have two choices: (1) keep the rates the same (or raise them) and nobody spends a thing and no tax revenue is generated, or (2) lower the rates and get people to buy lots and generate more tax revenue from the greater volume of sales.  Hey, as an American consumer I want to buy things. So help me out here!

Give extra time to pay - I don't mean 'Buy now and pay nothing until 2010!'  That's crazy talk, and somewhat misleading (read the fine print). No, what I am talking about is a simple extra month to pay your credit card bill, your mortgage, your utilities, your car payment, etc, etc.  Companies have done this during tough times in the past, and it still works a treat to give more people more money to spend during the Holidays.

Discount, Discount, Discount - This one may seem obvious, but it always surprises me how weak the discounts are and how late in the game they are offered.  If you run a company and you want your sales to be good these Holidays, then be aggressive with your price cutting.  Make it real. Discount till it hurts.  Discount your assets off!  And start it early, like tomorrow even. 

And finally here's some advice for us, the consumers:

Think Big -  We already know that companies are quaking in their corporate boots and praying for decent sales this season.  They will probably be giving discounts on many items, from things that are cheap anyway to things ordinarily very expensive.  So, if you can, think big!  Don't be afraid to buy the 'big' gifts you always wanted to give your loved ones and pocket the big savings that will go with them.  And why stop at gifts?  Take advantage of the desperation and buy those big ticket items you've wanted to buy for yourself.  Just don't get too carried away! You will (eventually) have to pay for it, and even 30% off a Jaguar may still be too much for your budget.

Who's Buying What For the Holidays

Economists are predicting a real Scrooge-fest this holiday season, with consumers parting reluctantly with their hard-earned and carefully-rationed cash.

I don't think so... after all, this is the ONE time per year that we absolutely must give our loved ones, friends, and coworkers some sort of material recognition that they mean something to us. Just a card won't really cover the obligation...

I do, however, think the types of gifts we give will shift a bit from the usual:

The rise of the 'practical' gift - This year we will strive to make a present out of any and every practical thing we would have given as a matter of course at any other time of the year.  Popular gifts will be cell phones, netbook computers, microwaves, vacuums, cookware, yoga lessons, and nasal hair trimmers.

The home-made gift - Always available on stand-by for the cash strapped giver, this year home-made gifts will rise in frequency, if not popularity.  Items made from clay and whimsically painted, like coffee mugs, are usually well-received. Items made from wood or metal are far less popular, and may be lethal.

The 'gift basket' - With easy access on the internet to these services, many people will opt to choose a pre-packaged 'gift basket' to send to their fortunate recipients.  These baskets usually consist of edible items like nuts, salami, and cheese, but there are really no limits.  Be inventive and try something new - like a basket o' gaskets for the plumber in all of us.  Practical too.

And last, but never least..

Gift Certificates - Always the last resort for the procrastinators among us, this also works for the less-than-creative.  In normal years, you would need to keep this down to a minimum to avoid appearing uncaring and cheap, and totally blowing  your cover as someone who gives a sh!t, but in light of the current economic 'troubles', you can feel free to go wild.  The ultimate?  Gift certificates for gift certificates.  Try it - it might catch on...

Time For Dessert

A couple of days ago, late at night, I surprised a junior member of our household eating a container of vanilla-flavored, low-fat yogurt.  I was unhappy and I told him so.

It wasn't that he was eating something so late at night that set me off, and it certainly wasn't that it was low-fat yogurt.  

The problem was he was eating MY yogurt, and it was late at night.

He sussed the gravity of the situation rather quickly and said:  

"I was just having my dessert."

For some reason that explanation satisfied me, even though it was, again, MY yogurt he was having as dessert.  After all, we did have dinner earlier that evening and there was no dessert provided at the time.  Perhaps my guilt at that oversight prevailed, but for whatever reason I let it go.

Only later, after he'd gone off, gastronomically fulfilled, to bed, did the significance of his argument strike me.  Dessert?  Four hours after dinner concluded?  Is that possible?

Well, what is dessert anyway?  Wikipedia describes it as 'a course that typically comes at the end of a meal, usually consisting of sweet food...'  Doesn't say a thing about how much time should elapse between the main course and the dessert.  And even if close proximity in time is implied who's to say you can't save up your dessert and have it later?

So, this yogurt-snatching teenager had flummoxed me with his quick thinking...

Until..., that is, I realized it wasn't just late at night that he was having his 'dessert', it was, in point of fact, 12:05 am - an entirely different day!

One might plausibly argue dessert could come after a meal at any time during the same day, but no one can argue it can come the next day.   

After midnight it is just a snack...

Hey, Joe!

Joe Lieberman, the chameleonic Senate Democrat come Independocrat come McCain supporter, is on the hot seat now.

Head Demos in the Senate feel free to punish and exile him for his support of John McCain, even though he mostly votes with them and is part of their caucus, no matter what he calls himself.   Given their new plurality in Congress, the Demos don't need Lieberman to make a majority, so it seems it's heave-ho Joe!

But... 

He was the vice-presidential candidate with John Kerry in 2000.  Should we really toss Joe out like spoiled gazpacho?

Is Joe Lieberman a closet Republican, or a misguided Liberal?   If I had to guess, I'd choose the latter.

Checking my near-photographic (not) memory, it seems to me that Lieberman is a pretty darn liberal fellow, voting with Democrats on social and economic issues.

However, he committed the unpardonable sin of supporting George Bush in his ill-advised war on Iraq.  And then he compounded that sin by supporting John McCain for President.

His reasons for doing both were clearly rooted in his steadfast support of Israel and conviction that Bush's War helped protect that nation.  He clearly believed John McCain would do a better job finishing what Bush started than would Obama.

I understand and can sympathize.  Joe Lieberman is a man who votes  his conscience, no matter what the consequences.

Well, he's voted, and now come the consequences.   Harry Reid will have him gone in a New York minute...

So long, Joe ... we hardly knew ya

Three Amigos on the Road to Ruin

GM, Ford, and Chrysler. 

The 'Three Amigos' of American corporate ineptness.

They are failing (GM is very close to gone), so what are their options?

1. We bail them out (they'd prefer that)

2. They merge (goodbye Big Three, hello Big Two, or even Big One)

3. They get bought out by other (probably foreign) investors.

4. We let them fail if that's what happens (they definitely don't want that)

From a strictly how-dumb-can-they-be-let's-teach-them-a-lesson vindictive point of view, I'd say option #4, especially for giant GM (the bigger they are ... etc.)

Based on what's best for the country, however, I'd say throw them into the market and see what can be arranged using options 2 & 3. 

If all else fails, throw the chumps a lifeline.  

But they'd better be grateful if we do ... I'd expect to see by way of thanks:

- Inexpensive, high-mpg, safe cars

- Alternative fuel vehicles

- Zero emissions vehicles

Oh, and lest we forget...

- Provide Health and Retirement Plans for their workers

- Pay us back (what, you thought it was a GIFT?)

Add to those good things a few, higher-end performance and luxury vehicles to keep the well-heeled happy, and that should be a good job well done... 

No Rest Before The Test

The last Democratic President, Bill Clinton, didn't announce his staff until shortly before his inauguration.   

President-Elect Obama announced his chief of staff only days after his election win.  He is building his team as fast as possible.  

And he needs to.  Today he'll be making a public announcement on the economy.  He's already spoken with world leaders on the crisis.

With a leadership vacuum in the Bush administration the size of a stellar nebula, Obama has been pressed to, in essence, govern before even taking office.

Has there ever been a lamer duck than George Bush?  Has there ever been a President-Elect given less time to rest before the test of office?

Team Building 101

And Barack Obama thought winning the election was tough.

Now he's got to choose the people who will largely run the country for the next four years, and his picks have to be good.

What qualities should Obama be looking for?  Let's make a short list:

• Loyalty.  I know this may sound extreme, but team members need to stand behind their leader. No petty politics or survivor-like behavior allowed.  Differences of opinion should be expected and open discussion encouraged, but once the President makes his decision, everyone needs to close ranks behind him.  If as a team member, you can't abide by a decision, then resign and write a book about it.

• Enthusiasm.  Leading a country is a hard job.  Long hours, little sleep, and lots of second guessing of every move you make.  And that's just the President.  His team will need to work even harder, to stay ahead of the curve and keep their boss well informed.  At times, they will just want to give up, quit and write a book.  Enthusiasm will keep them going, and they will need lots of it, along with plenty of coffee and sugary snacks.

•  Intelligence.  Members of the President's team should be among the best and brightest in government.  Not asking too much, you might think, but the President has to be realistic.  The very smartest people in our society won't take the job.  The smartest 'in government' will, and that's the best we can hope for. 

• Persistence.  One of the toughest jobs team members will face is dealing with congress and their not-so-silent partners, the lobbyists.  Just when you think you have an 'understanding', some lobbyist will mess things up and you will be back to square one.  Persistence - the fine art of getting up, dusting off, and trying again, is essential.

And

• Steadiness.  Team members will face at least four years (unless they quit and write that book) of relentless stress, often extreme.  Ordinary folk might crack like cheap vinyl and fail their President at the moment he needs them the most.  So the last, but not least, of qualities to consider is the emotional steadiness to weather the intense ups and downs of the job.  
  

So there you have it.  The short list of qualities that should be requirements when Barack Obama forms his team.  Of course, he should give some consideration to experience, but as we all know by now, that's not essential...

Class on Display

In the aftermath of the historic victory of President-Elect Barrack Obama, we were treated to two impressive displays of class:

Senator John McCain gave perhaps the most inspiring speech of his campaign, indeed his career, in his gracious and humble concession to Obama's victory.  During the speech, he skillfully quelled a few ugly outbursts amongst his followers, and, by the end, had brought them around to looking forward in a hopeful, if poignant, way.  Class.

President-Elect Barrack Obama accepted his victory with an eloquent speech that beautifully summed up the hopes of his supporters while acknowledging the fears of his opponents.  His gracious and positive treatment of his former opponent went a long way towards bridging the gap between jubilant Democrats and demoralized Republicans.  Class.

Both men deserved our praise last evening. Their moves to immediately heal the wounds of a painful campaign gave great hope about our future to the citizens of the United States and our friends around the world. Class.

Fateful Day

Very first thing I heard on the morning radio news: a commentator noted that today's election will be historic, no matter which party wins.  

On the Republican side, you can elect the oldest man ever to a first term.  And the first woman to be elected Vice President.

Triumphant Democrats will place the first African-American in office as President. 

Every registered voter can participate in making history.  So get out there and make a difference.

I can't bear to look

It's mid-day on Monday November 3rd, and I've decided to stop looking at the polls.

They are just making me paranoid.

Obama still has a healthy lead, but McCain is inexplicably chipping away at it in the 'battleground' states.

It could be due to exhaustive campaigning on McCain's part (he IS tough, isn't he?)  

It could be due to exhaustion amongst Obama's crew (they've been working VERY hard.)

I hope it's one or both of those reasons, because I'd hate to think that racism has anything to do with it.

Like I said, paranoid...

So no more polls.  I know who I am voting for,  but I will need all the time I can get before tomorrow to wade through all the propositions ...

The Entropy of Black Holes

According to a science program I saw on TV, the universe will expand forever, resulting eventually (100 trillion years, or thereabouts) in a cold, dark, lifeless, universe of decomposed matter. 

They say that accelerating expansion due to the repulsive forces of matter together with entropy dictates this end.  As galaxies move further and further apart, there will be less concentrated heat and light to keep things 'cooking', and as stars burn out fewer will be born as a result of this lowered concentration of heat and light. Entropy will assure that complex forms will degrade into less organized states.

Near the end, they predict a universe filled with black holes, but say they too will degenerate and die.

But here is where they lost me, and I'll share some of the questions and thoughts that came to me while watching:

 If a black hole is a center of gravitation force so powerful that NOTHING can escape, how would entropy work?  Black holes will continue to pull in matter no matter how cold and dark the matter is, and no energy will escape.  So what could lead to black hole death?

Maybe entropy is suspended in black holes.  Perhaps, in the universe the TV show depicts, black holes will be a saving grace.   

As matter in the universe cools to absolute zero, perhaps the repulsive forces will weaken, slowing or reversing expansion.  And maybe the ever growing black holes will provide enough gravitational force to pull matter back together.

Maybe the black holes will coalesce eventually into a single point of gravity, resulting in another big bang?

Or maybe the energy released when matter collapses past the event horizons of countless black holes will heat the matter in the universe, restoring the repulsive forces, resulting in another era of expansion. And so on, in an endless cycle.

Of course, as a non-mathematician, I lack the tools to explore these questions further than simply posing them.  

Black holes and entropy - fun to think about on a cloudy, wet day, fueled by a post-Halloween sugar high.

The Longest Weekend

Talk about weekends - this one will be a doozy - and very long.

Tonight, Trick or Treaters will be flooding the streets dressed in nightmarish garb, hoping for some sugar-frenzied fun.  

Meanwhile, for many of us, the last 4 months of presidential campaign speeches, adds, and accompanying news commentary will be percolating at the back of our thoughts.

Next Tuesday, after a weekend spent recuperating from candy overload, those percolations will be tested at the polls.  

Will the results be a Treat, or will they seem a ghastly Trick?

Enjoy the candy...

Driving The Economy - Like a Car on Mars

After a $700 billion bailout and buy-ins and 'assistance' totaling tens of billions more, the Fed has also cut the interest rate again -  to a near all-time low.   If the economy was a car they'd be stepping hard on the accelerator with no thought to the brakes.

Something the Fed and our other leaders don't seem to realize is, the economy is slow to respond to any stimulus, like driving a car on Mars by remote control from Earth.  Whatever control input you make here -accelerate or brake, takes time to result in action on Mars.  Patience and perfect, planned timing are required.

What we may have here is too much input, made without patience and with imperfect timing.  The economic accelerator has been mashed to the floor multiple times and that 'car' just won't move quickly enough for our leaders, so they are mashing it down again. 

If the upcoming Holiday season doesn't generate enough consumer buying to 'accelerate' the economy, then more pedal mashing by the Fed could be coming.

Meanwhile, on Mars all hell is about to break loose.  Let's hope someone remembers the brakes.

Not this time..., please!

Remember the 2000 and, especially, 2004 elections?  Remember (if you were a Democrat) feeling confident in the days before that NO ONE could possibly vote for Shrub Bush? Remember how you felt AFTER those elections?  Could that happen again...?

This morning the radio news seemed stuffed with Republican opioneer 'guests', all of whom were whingeing about how McCain is not conservative enough - almost a Democrat, really.  They were talking about how the Grand Old Party will need to rebuild after the coming big loss to Obama, and rebuild on its conservative base.

Maybe I am being paranoid, but I take this kind of talk as a disingenuous attempt at influencing uncommitted and independent voters that McCain isn't REALLY Republican, that, in fact, a vote for him is almost as un-Republican as a vote for Obama.  As my OCD reasoning goes, this is a shift in Republican strategy to get McCain elected by painting him as a lost cause semi-Democrat - just in time to sway undecided voters his way.  

Let's stay clear in this, if nothing else:  McCain IS a Republican, and a fairly conservative one at that, especially on social and economic issues.  He may be a 'Maverick' and he may frustrate the hardest of hardliners, but he's no Obama.  He's not even a Kerry, nor a Gore.  And remember, Palin IS a hard line conservative and she comes with the McCain package.  

On election day, don't start thinking that as republicans go, McCain would make a pretty good democrat, as the GOP opinionistas would have you believe.  If you want a Democrat in the White House, then vote for Obama.  

Let's not be fooled again, this time, please!