Radioactive

When will I stop worrying and learn to love being ... radioactive?

Will listening to The Firm's 1980's hit by that name calm my shattered nerves?

Will cookies with a glass of iodine 131 laced milk?

If you have been tuned into the horror show that is the Fukushima Dia-ichi nuclear plant disaster, you may wonder how I can voice concern from 5000 miles away, given the far more dangerous levels of radiation exposure local to the plant. What we are getting here in California is barely noticeable in comparison, right?

Well, maybe so, but it's not my nuclear plant. Neither I nor any other of the 39 million (or so) Californians, and the millions more in Oregon, Washington, and the rest of Western North American (and Mexico), ever received a single watt of power from that facility. We got none of the good, so getting even a little of the bad is a galling proposition. And I'll bet the folks in Japan who DID receive plenty of benefit from the plant's power production still bristle at the contamination with which they now must contend.

You may well wonder if I've lost my reason, given the news releases claiming how low, low, low the levels in our Milk are. Even the Huffington Post got into the act with their rehash of the no-threat claims.

But I stand by my paranoia. In my totally non-scientific but logical assessment, even a little radiation in a form (e.g., iodine-131) that, when consumed, concentrates in a particular part of the body (thyroid), and sits there for up to 80 days frantically emitting a shower of DNA-shattering energetic particles (which might lead to cancer) is not desirable.

I wouldn't be afraid to take a bath in our contaminated milk, but drink it? No, not regularly anyway; except in coffee, which I like to believe has magical anti-radiation properties (don't disabuse me of this notion, please. I need the caffeine, and I like it with milk).

No, I won't regularly drink tainted milk other than in coffee, or the random amounts that may splash accidentally into my mouth while bathing in it - not until Dia-ichi is safely contained and the radioactive clouds stop drifting our way.

Hurry The Day ...