My Recovery Plan

Everybody should have a personal economic 'Recovery Plan'. Why should the government have all the fun? If bureaucrats can hash together something that sort of works, surely your average citizen can too.

With that goal and spirit in mind, I have set my average citizen's average intelligence to work on the problem. With a focus on ... me. My family, relatives, and friends, though important and much loved, will have to figure it out for themselves. (Consider the following as insurance for better birthday presents. Or at least the presence of presents.)

Here's my intensely personalized plan:

Step 1: Reinvention - Until now, I have pursued roughly three careers: scientist, computer geek, and quality enforcer. While all of these have been rewarding in their way, none have made me securely wealthy. I need a new career to carry me through the rest of my life. One which will finally fetch me that gold ring (why bother with brass) which has been just out of reach. Some options I have considered include doctor (it's never too late), politician (power = money), real estate broker (prices will rise again!), and novelist (the best-selling kind, not the artist). I've had lawyer suggested to me, and that appeals greatly, since lawyers don't appear to work very hard, instead scraping the cream from the top of other people's endeavors (or mistakes), which really appeals to my lazy side. So maybe lawyer. Either that or plumber.

Step 2: Location - Your ability to recover from the recession has a least a little to do with where you live. Why take chances? Move out of the underemployed zone you currently call home and move to where the jobs are. Be sure to update your passport and apply for a visa, though, since where the jobs are is not here in the U.S. of A. I plan to move to American Samoa and become a Samoan lawyer - or plumber. Possibly Minister of Disaster Planning, which could include both skills. (Wait, do I even need a passport for American Samoa?)

and finally,

Step 3: Diversification - Once you have moved to a location conducive to your recovery and achieved that gold ring grabbing job, it's important to think about protecting your assets against any future meltdown. The smart money says you should diversify and spread your money across multiple investments. Then again, 'smart money' thought AIG was nicely diversified. Me, I like honey. Everyone likes honey. And the bees that make it are getting scarce. There's money in bees. There's money in honey. And tires - motorcycle tires specifically. They wear out quickly, and cost a lot. Bees, honey, and tires then.

So that's it for me. A future as a American Samoan lawyer, government minister, and/or plumber, with major investment in bees and honey and a sideline in tires for two-wheelers.

What's YOUR plan?