Panic at 30,000 feet - Cheapo CEO Michael O'Leary, wants his Ireland-based airline Ryan Air to charge passengers to use the toilet. Not content to charge for baggage, food, drink, and pillows, the no-frills service seeks to boost profits by taking advantage of the weak bladders of older fliers. This action will be followed by the in-flight sale of adult diapers. What's next? Charging for seat belts and air?
Panic at ground level - For those stalwart travelers somehow able to avoid wetting themselves on Ryan Air, there's bad news when you arrive at your destination. Diseases. Lot's of 'em. From well-known killers like Malaria, Typhus, and Yellow Fever, through less fatal but nonetheless tiresome plagues like 'Montezuma's Revenge'. Some have unfamiliar names, like Norovirus, or Chikungunya (also a virus), and you will want them to remain unfamiliar. Hey, how's this for a Ryan Air moneymaker? In-flight innoculations! (With every shot you get a token for the toilet).
Panic at TED - So, you aren't planning to fly Ryan Air or travel to some disease-ridden destination anytime soon? Feeling left out? Bill Gates has got your back. The Microsoft founder and all-around Geek God opened a suitcase full of mosquitoes at the Technology, Entertainment, and Design (TED) conference back in early February. Gate's aim was to publicize the dangers of Malaria, which mosquitoes transmit from human to human, but his actions resulted mostly in lame (and systematically incorrect) quips about Microsoft and 'bugs'. [Note for non-entomologists: mosquitoes are not bugs. Remember - all bugs are insects, but not all insects are bugs. So there.]
Don't panic, but keep your head well down until the weekend.
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