Where's The News?

Lately I've been having flashbacks to that 1980's 'Where's The Beef' commercial, only I'm wondering where all our News has gone. Try surfing through any TV channel, but especially the cable ones, and you'll be hard pressed to find anything resembling News more than superficially.

And don't even think about the internet options. For some reason, Yahoo! News, a service I had come to like and peruse daily, has lately changed to a slate of opinions and fluff pieces. I do access it mainly on an iPad now, so perhaps someone has pieced together info on me from that iOS data-hole and concluded I'm an air-head California Kid. (I must try to act my age on the internet).

It's not that I'm a masochist or anything. I don't desire to be depressed by all the bad News in the world; but I do want to be informed, and I want it as 'just the facts, please'. I'll supply the opinion, thank you very much.

Surprisingly, I did find some Real News recently; of all places in the newspaper. My opinion of our local rag, the Los Angeles Times, had fallen to the point it typically was shuffled from the front porch straight under the dog, without reading. The other day, though, I happened to glance at a few of the back pages, and - Whoa - I stopped in my tracks. Real News, and mainly the facts, in article after article. A veritable News Bonanza!

I'm hoping this is a new trend: newspapers, in their desperation, resorting to actual reportage of factual News, in an effort to differentiate from the increasingly mindless televised, posted, streamed, and tweeted mixed bag of fact, opinion, and near-fiction.

That one edition may have been a fluke, or this trend may not last. In the meantime, though, the dog will have to hold it in, or pee outside for a change.

Congressional Fakeout

It's always been my assumption that our Congress is slightly corrupt. This opinion has been mainly based on the circumstantial evidence that hardly any members who go in less than rich leave that way.

Slight corruption is not in itself a deal-stopper. After all, everyone in this great big rat-race of a modern world is tempted beyond their ability to resist at one time or another, for big or little reasons, and for less or more gain. From the policeman who accepts a cup of coffee gratis at the local donut shop to the Senator who takes 'key business leaders' along on a junket to Bangkok to explore foreign, uh, markets. Yes, markets.

But I have to draw the line. Tonight on 'The Daily Show', Jon Stewart revealed that our congressional 'servants' were immune to insider trading laws. They can legally invest for their own benefit using information not available to the public. In other words, they can do blithely what sent Martha Stewart (no relation) to the big house.

Worse still, former congressmen and aides have been funneling the same confidential information (for a fat fee) out to hedge funds and other stock traders. This sounds like something from Capone's Old Chicago, early Vegas, or Putin's Moscow, not Congress.

But there it is. Outright, unadulterated, corruption. Homegrown in the USA.

And all this time, Congress has been railing against insider trading and corruption in the financial markets. Hey, look over there at that mess, they've been telling us, hoping we don't look behind their curtains. A juke and head-fake, and the constitution and fairness are left in the dust.

This goes beyond the slight corruption I've accepted as inevitable; this is evil trickery on a scale equal to the worst abuses of Monarchs (and I don't mean butterflies), absent the beheadings and burnings at the stake.

It's a good thing there are shows like Stewart's to bring these issues to our attention. But, if I were Mr Stewart, or any good soul speaking out about this corruption, I might want to increase my medieval torture and execution insurance, and take the lowest deductible too.

Terrors Of The North

Ah, winter in the Canadian Maritimes. Two warm ( in the forties F) days followed by a freakin' blizzard. And wouldn't you know the day of my flight back to terra cognita would be the thick of the aftermath: roads half- plowed and a third salted; airlines canceling flights with a relish; hour long waits on hold for customer service. There is nothing 'Jazzy' that I can see about my carrier.

Good thing this trip was for work and not vacation...

Before the turmoil of last minute trip-rescue calls, some heated and some pleading, there were pleasures:

Moncton, New Brunswick is lovely in the snow; and there are more good restaurants and pubs than you might expect for a city of its size.

And one amusing irritation:

It seems there's a youth hockey league tournament in town this weekend; on Friday night my hotel filled with hordes of Little Gretsky's rampaging about the floors and clogging the elevator. And of course they brought their entire families with them - it's not often you see so many groggy people in pajamas at the breakfast buffet.

Still, they say travel broadens the mind. This may be so, but I think next time I need to come here, I'll drive over from Halifax or even from Montreal. There are limits to how much broadening a person can stand ...

Epilogue, Los Angeles:

Sometime during the last day or so in NB, I was exposed to a nasty gastrointestinal bug that knocked me down and out for the worst part of a week upon my return home. I remembered reading, in The Globe and Mail when I arrived in Canada, about an outbreak among Canadians returning from Mexico. Trust the snowbirds for being Patient Zero in my personal playing of Contagion.

Pissin' and Missin'

It's not everyday you witness a metaphor for shameless incompetence and arrogant disregard as apropos as that splattering pool of pee arrayed at the base of every urinal in every men's restroom in every airport in the world. You'd think we were all going in the dark, half-asleep. Either that or the restrooms had been used by zombie hordes to relieve themselves after a hard night's lurch. And neither we nor the zombies gave a damn about who came later or who had to clean up.

I can't say for certain the worst offenders are natural politicians, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were. Who else are so wiener-centric but unable to hit the mark? And who wouldn't characterize the GOP primaries as a pissing contest with lots of errant spraying? (A contest also with at least a couple of zombies.)

But I believe this is the curse of our times - to be governed by inaccurate and unconcerned types, who whizz blithely into the wind, and when things get wet and smelly blame the wind.

A more disturbing image hit the news recently, in the form of a photo showing US soldiers peeing on the corpses of their slain enemies. It occurred to me, viewing the photo, that collateral human damage in our war on terror is the inevitable consequence of old men Pissin' and Missin', only the splatters are blood.

So, Welcome to 2012! (Here's hoping we acquire better aim, or a good janitor shows up.)

A Dry Year

For anyone noticing the ocean scenes on this blog page: Slash, the 16-ft Great White, and Me, the Diver hoping to avoid the menu, it might surprise you to hear that I haven't set fin in water in 2011.

Not that I didn't want to, but something always seemed to pop up to stop me. Absence of my Dive Buddy, failure (or out of maintenance window) of critical equipment, or bad weather all interfered. Business travel had its effect, too, as did my other passion of motorcycling (for which 2011 was a very good year). But none of these things were sufficient excuses to go a whole year without visiting the fish.

So for 2012 my resolution will be to get Me and my SCUBA equipment in better shape, and stay as wet as I can.

May the New Year be wet, real or metaphorically, for all who need it to be.

Mitt, Newt, and other Four-Letter Words

On the cusp of 2012, with an uncertain future facing our country (and much of the rest of the world), it's a pity we are provided with such poor choices for the next four years.

I read today that the GOP side of things will likely be Mitt vs Newt, a battle between the four-lettered. For the Dems the news is of a possible change-up between Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, with the current Secretary of State becoming the VP candidate. I hope (4 letters) I'm wrong, but this move seems more political than practical.

Can the President be that worried about Mitt or Newt? From what I've seen so far, there isn't a hope in hell (4 letters) of either taking the national vote (also 4). In fact, it's likely this campaign will leave the career of one or both dead (4) in the water.

Political theater aside, what do we citizens have to look forward to? Either 4 more years of DC deadlock, or rule by a Mitt or a Newt ( or Mitt and Newt, egad!)

The prospect brings to mind several four-letter words (feel free to imagine your own) ...

Riding the Gift Horse into 2012

The economy has had some good news lately: 'Black Friday' sales were strong, and 'Cyber Monday' tallies were even better. There is reason to hope for a decent holiday buying season to follow. The unemployment rate is even down a notch or two. And there haven't been any recent scary reports about Europe.

The cost of gasoline, and (more importantly) diesel has eased from the hurtful highs of the summer. Things are looking up a bit, for sure.

But wait ... is this the dawn before the dark? A false spring before a renewed winter of discontent? One last breath of ease before the world ends in 2012?

Or are we really on the road to a sustainable recovery?

At this stage it's anybody's guess, but I'm not holding my breath. With an election ahead that seems to have no good end no matter which party wins, coupled with the specter of a deadlocked Congress lasting past mid-decade, who can dare to be positive about our future?

Still a little good news is welcome after all the bad that has rained down on 2011's parade. And we don't want to look too closely into the gift-horse's mouth.