Terrors Of The North

Ah, winter in the Canadian Maritimes. Two warm ( in the forties F) days followed by a freakin' blizzard. And wouldn't you know the day of my flight back to terra cognita would be the thick of the aftermath: roads half- plowed and a third salted; airlines canceling flights with a relish; hour long waits on hold for customer service. There is nothing 'Jazzy' that I can see about my carrier.

Good thing this trip was for work and not vacation...

Before the turmoil of last minute trip-rescue calls, some heated and some pleading, there were pleasures:

Moncton, New Brunswick is lovely in the snow; and there are more good restaurants and pubs than you might expect for a city of its size.

And one amusing irritation:

It seems there's a youth hockey league tournament in town this weekend; on Friday night my hotel filled with hordes of Little Gretsky's rampaging about the floors and clogging the elevator. And of course they brought their entire families with them - it's not often you see so many groggy people in pajamas at the breakfast buffet.

Still, they say travel broadens the mind. This may be so, but I think next time I need to come here, I'll drive over from Halifax or even from Montreal. There are limits to how much broadening a person can stand ...

Epilogue, Los Angeles:

Sometime during the last day or so in NB, I was exposed to a nasty gastrointestinal bug that knocked me down and out for the worst part of a week upon my return home. I remembered reading, in The Globe and Mail when I arrived in Canada, about an outbreak among Canadians returning from Mexico. Trust the snowbirds for being Patient Zero in my personal playing of Contagion.

Pissin' and Missin'

It's not everyday you witness a metaphor for shameless incompetence and arrogant disregard as apropos as that splattering pool of pee arrayed at the base of every urinal in every men's restroom in every airport in the world. You'd think we were all going in the dark, half-asleep. Either that or the restrooms had been used by zombie hordes to relieve themselves after a hard night's lurch. And neither we nor the zombies gave a damn about who came later or who had to clean up.

I can't say for certain the worst offenders are natural politicians, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were. Who else are so wiener-centric but unable to hit the mark? And who wouldn't characterize the GOP primaries as a pissing contest with lots of errant spraying? (A contest also with at least a couple of zombies.)

But I believe this is the curse of our times - to be governed by inaccurate and unconcerned types, who whizz blithely into the wind, and when things get wet and smelly blame the wind.

A more disturbing image hit the news recently, in the form of a photo showing US soldiers peeing on the corpses of their slain enemies. It occurred to me, viewing the photo, that collateral human damage in our war on terror is the inevitable consequence of old men Pissin' and Missin', only the splatters are blood.

So, Welcome to 2012! (Here's hoping we acquire better aim, or a good janitor shows up.)

A Dry Year

For anyone noticing the ocean scenes on this blog page: Slash, the 16-ft Great White, and Me, the Diver hoping to avoid the menu, it might surprise you to hear that I haven't set fin in water in 2011.

Not that I didn't want to, but something always seemed to pop up to stop me. Absence of my Dive Buddy, failure (or out of maintenance window) of critical equipment, or bad weather all interfered. Business travel had its effect, too, as did my other passion of motorcycling (for which 2011 was a very good year). But none of these things were sufficient excuses to go a whole year without visiting the fish.

So for 2012 my resolution will be to get Me and my SCUBA equipment in better shape, and stay as wet as I can.

May the New Year be wet, real or metaphorically, for all who need it to be.

Mitt, Newt, and other Four-Letter Words

On the cusp of 2012, with an uncertain future facing our country (and much of the rest of the world), it's a pity we are provided with such poor choices for the next four years.

I read today that the GOP side of things will likely be Mitt vs Newt, a battle between the four-lettered. For the Dems the news is of a possible change-up between Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, with the current Secretary of State becoming the VP candidate. I hope (4 letters) I'm wrong, but this move seems more political than practical.

Can the President be that worried about Mitt or Newt? From what I've seen so far, there isn't a hope in hell (4 letters) of either taking the national vote (also 4). In fact, it's likely this campaign will leave the career of one or both dead (4) in the water.

Political theater aside, what do we citizens have to look forward to? Either 4 more years of DC deadlock, or rule by a Mitt or a Newt ( or Mitt and Newt, egad!)

The prospect brings to mind several four-letter words (feel free to imagine your own) ...

Riding the Gift Horse into 2012

The economy has had some good news lately: 'Black Friday' sales were strong, and 'Cyber Monday' tallies were even better. There is reason to hope for a decent holiday buying season to follow. The unemployment rate is even down a notch or two. And there haven't been any recent scary reports about Europe.

The cost of gasoline, and (more importantly) diesel has eased from the hurtful highs of the summer. Things are looking up a bit, for sure.

But wait ... is this the dawn before the dark? A false spring before a renewed winter of discontent? One last breath of ease before the world ends in 2012?

Or are we really on the road to a sustainable recovery?

At this stage it's anybody's guess, but I'm not holding my breath. With an election ahead that seems to have no good end no matter which party wins, coupled with the specter of a deadlocked Congress lasting past mid-decade, who can dare to be positive about our future?

Still a little good news is welcome after all the bad that has rained down on 2011's parade. And we don't want to look too closely into the gift-horse's mouth.

A Little Clarity Please

I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around recent events. After all, it's not every day you have a bill (Defense Appropriations) in Congress containing a provision threatening to take away legal due process for American citizens. Especially when that particular piece of the bill seems to be supported by the democratic administration.

Good thing for us all that the republicans have added other verbiage unpalatable enough to the demos that passage is unlikely.

I am also grappling unsuccessfully with the concept of the 'Occupy' movement opting to close down the Ports of Los Angeles, Oakland, Portland, and Seattle. True, powerful corporations profit from the Port traffic, but then so do thousands of blue collar workers. In balance, I think the workers lose more than the moneyed interests in any closures, so why do it? I guess I just don't get the 'Plan' - unless there is no plan and we are just seeing a revived anti-globalism for which Ports are seen as smuggling routes for foreign carpetbaggers and their domestic allies.

And I still don't see any cogent reasoning behind the GOP presidential candidates. When is the REAL candidate going to step forward? It CAN'T be Newt. Is there anyone behind the curtain? Can that evil wizard Karl Rove have lost his touch? Or has he been drowned in Tea and banished from Oz?

As it stands now President Obama should have it easy come the election, but easy isn't what this country needs. We need a tough dialog and comprehensive debate between two strong candidates, not something akin to a protracted SNL skit.

My wish for this Holiday would be to have some clarity arrive with the new year. Statesmanship and fruitful compromise seems unlikely, so clarity is about the best we can hope for. Fingers crossed, everyone ...

Occupy This Space

I have watched with interest all the 'Occupy' gatherings around the country. As someone firmly entrenched in the 99% - albeit the upper 10% of that demographic, I completely sympathize with the catchphrase, 'Tax The Rich', depending on what you call 'Rich'.

I can't quite gel with 'Eat The Rich', though, largely because I am on a diet, and the 'Rich' may well be too fattening. The definition of who is 'Rich' is also important here, since my current pulchitrude would be too appealing if I were to be lumped in with the 'Rich'. Thankfully, a mortgage and college tuition for two will make it quite unlikely I will be mistaken for a 'Ritchie' anytime before I die.

Generally, though, I am behind the movement. And I do mean 'behind'. My generation had enough of getting clubbed and water-hosed back in the 60's and 70's. I'll hang back and defend the rear guard. I accept your thanks with great humility. You are welcome.

My favorite role in this movement would be as the 'counselor' or 'Grand Vizier' (if that's not too Islamic for political correctness). I believe I could give good advice. My first guidance would be to occupy someplace nice. For instance, why occupy downtown LA? Why not Santa Monica? It's still part of Greater LA and Santa Monica boasts the best facilities for the homeless in America - plus there's the beach for getting clean. And don't forget the stunning view.

My second bit of imparted wisdom would be to combine the protest with some practical and helpful action, like street repair. Why not fill up some potholes which marching around? Leave the place you are occupying better than you found it. Spread a little grass seed around the park while you are pounding up the soil with your protesting feet. Paint over some graffiti (faster than you create it).

Of course, the ultimate and overall goal of this movement is, as near as I can gather, to get government in this country to shift a reasonable portion of its attention from the richest of Americans to the rest of us. To get Congress to think about us, the people they have been elected to represent, at least as much as they think about the corporations who fund their campaigns and who bribe (pardon, 'lobby') them with junkets and trinkets and jobs (oh my!)

I wish the movement all success in getting this message through. At the moment, though, it seems the active 'occupiers' aren't too focused in their demands, and it will remain to be seen whether anything realistic and meaningful comes of the movement. Even if it doesn't, those in power in this government, and their corporate backers, would be remiss in dismissing this movement. As I alluded in an earlier blog post, 'occupy' may be the surface bubbling of a vaster underground volcano. Better to do something progressive to release that pressure now, than bottle it up and risk a major blow-out later.