What's in a (middle) name?

Much has been made in rude (Rush?) circles of President Obama's middle name being the same as the last name of G. Bush's favorite (late) dictator, Saddam Hussein of Iraq.  

Our 44th President wasn't quite sure how to manage this during the inauguration.  He was introduced as 'Barack H. Obama', when he stepped out into the D.C. sunlight on January 20, but he then declared his name fully as 'Barack Hussein Obama' during the oath of office.  

It's certain the President's middle name will be even less an issue now that he's taken office, but it's equally certain he won't be flaunting it either.  Just like most people - including other Presidents.  And that's a shame, since middle names have their own interest.

Gerald R. Ford's middle name was Rudolph.  Was he particularly fond of sleigh-pulling ungulates with so-bright noses? Could he more easily navigate on foggy nights? Or was he just a hapless victim of mirthful parents? In any event, he passed on the possible metaphorical image of a guiding light and just used 'R'.

Richard M. Nixon's middle name was Milhous, and not surprisingly kept that abbreviated.  Just the reverse of some of his staff and conspirators, who abbreviated their first names and accentuated their middles, like E. Howard Hunt and G. Gordon Liddy.  Maybe if Matt Groening's 'The Simpsons' (around for 20 years now) had been on the air in 1969, Milhous might have had more panache.  But no.

George W. Bush's middle name is 'Walker', and there's not much odd about that.  It would have been much odder if his name was 'Trotter', or 'Runner', or 'Stalker'.  No, his middle name is memorable only in that it is just one name.  His Dad, George H. W. Bush, had two.  A true example of diminishing returns.

Dwight Eisenhower's middle name was 'David', but not always.  At birth he was David Dwight Eisenhower, and switched things around to 'Dwight David'.  I guess he thought 'David' was too common but didn't want to be 'D. Dwight', and so made the change.  He probably should have given it all up as a bad idea and called himself 'D. D.', or 'Deedee'.  (It worked for a Ramone).

Harry S. Truman was seen as a simple man - one of the people and not a sophisticate.  His middle name ably reflected that background.  It is 'S'.  Only the letter and nothing more.  And that befitted our most 'plain speaking' President.  (Either that or his parents were stumped and didn't have a good baby name book handy).

But many of our Presidents had even Harry S. beat when it came to simplicity, eschewing middle names completely.  George Washington himself, the father of our country, was middle nameless, as was Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln.  All acknowledged as great Presidents, showing no harmful effects from having just a first and last name to write down in the annals of history.

However, I am not sad the simplicity trend seems to have vanished from Presidential nomenclature.  Middle names should be cherished and shown the light of day, and freed from the bonds of abbreviation.  They give parents a chance to salvage names their spouses vehemently refused to use as first names, often under threat of divorce.  Like 'Baines', 'Fitzgerald', 'Gamaliel', or 'Milhous'.

There is even a Day for middle names - Middle Name Pride Day, held on March 10.  

This year, let's all agree to use our middle names exclusively for that day, unless, of course, you are simpatico with Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln, and don't have one. In that case, you'll either have to adopt a middle name for the day, or be left out of the party. 

I suggest 'Milhous'.  Enjoy!

Poetry Break - Hey Arnold!

Hey, Arnold - Mr. Schwarzenegger,
our Governator, true

Where would Californians be, if we
didn't have you?

$42 billion in debt,
(well, that's not really so bad...)

Increase our taxes?
(Why not? We'll give more and be glad!)

Cut funds for education?
(Yes! Gotta save a few cents. In this time of recession, that only makes sense.)

Hard moves and painful,

but we must try to be fair.

Have you a plan that will bring us, 

from not-so-nice here,

to much-better there?

One wonders in these days

of economic malaise,

can the actor govern - bring relief without delays?

Or is the governor acting,

drifting, reacting,

And we're all just props in his plays?

Hey Arnold - Mr. Schwarzenegger,
our Governator, it's true...

Do right by us, please,
We voted for you!

Starbucks Memories

A hot, smooth, Grande Latte - easy foam, please.  With full-fat milk to give it heft and authenticity, none of that non-fat or non-milk soy stuff, ok ?  And make it hot, almost enough to melt the plastic lid and that will be about right. Thank you.

Out to the car, start the engine, turn on the radio to 94.7 (easy listening, soft jazz to sooth the soul), and sip tentatively, memories of scalded lip and scorched tongue enforcing caution.

Ah, this must be what the first sip from a $100 bottle of champagne feels like, or an equally fine brandy. Definitely similar to a tall cold one on a hot mid-summer yard work day.  Heaven.

Such a hot latte from the nearest Starbucks (there was one nearer every year) was my best tool (jazz aside) for lightening dreary commutes from, oh, say, 1997 through 2004.  Coffee was as essential as gas and Starbucks was my particular grade of fuel.

Roll back a few years to 1992, or even 1995, and I would have scoffed (ha!) at the suggestion of paying 3 bucks (and up) for coffee - a thing you could make for yourself for pennies, or buy in it's common non-espresso form for not much more than a dollar from donut shops, fast food outlets, traditional coffee shops, and convenience stores everywhere.  Not to mention the free stuff from the office coffee pot - a travel mug and you were (on your way) home free.  

But, like every addiction, it all started with a first sampling.  Actually not the first, perhaps not even the twenty-first, since my innate cheapness fought hard against the urge, but certainly by the fifty-first I was hooked.  

A pick-me-up for the drive after long days or late nights at the office turned into a ritual, and then a habit ingrained by ritual.  When traveling on rare occasions sans latte, I would feel compelled to take every off-ramp where, through experience, I knew a Starbucks lay waiting.  More often than not, I gave in to the compulsion.

By the time I left the job which had me commuting 100 miles a day, I was up to three lattes every work day, and two a day on most weekends.  I never thought of cost at the time, but it must have averaged about $200 a month at the peak. 

An attempt at the consulting life (sort of a semi-retirement), saw me driving less and worrying more about money, and the frugally Scottish piece of my American motley ancestry gradually dulled and then defeated my addiction.  

Eventually, a Starbucks latte resumed a more natural place in my world, as a pick-me-up, or adjunct to good conversation, instead of a furtively-sipped drug used to simultaneously numb and sharpen a frazzled and glazed commuter.

Sad then to hear, now that I've beaten my Starbucks monkey from 500 lb gorilla down to rhesus-size, that the coffee company is facing crisis.  Earnings down 69%, open stores closing and fewer new stores opening.   

And layoffs. Layoffs? Layoffs!  From the one fast-food-type service employer most people were proud to admit they worked for? 

Shocking ...

Enough to make one choke on one's frappuccino.

Babbleocity 9

Scanning the news and my subconscious,  

for all that's fit to babble on about ...

Never say die - You have to hand it to Illinois' embattled governor, Rod Blagojevich, the guy's got chutzpah.  He's all but wrapped up and delivered to the nearest Federal penitentiary and a new friend named 'Butch', and there he is on Larry King protesting his innocence.  Likely pocketing a nice sum for his appearance too.  Meanwhile, back in Illinois, the politicos are beating the winter cold by staying inside and roasting Blago over a slow, hot, impeachment fire.

California Bum Rush - The Golden State has its hand out to Uncle Sam, needing cash to make good all those unemployment checks.  Facing $42 billion in deficits, Governator Schwarzenegger is looking for $10 billion in immediate help from the Feds.  One thing is for sure, no matter how far (not very) that cash infusion goes ..., he'll be back!

Doc Ock would be proud - The news broke today that a woman in Southern California just gave birth to eight (8) babies.  And broke is how the couple will likely be unless the usual advertising frenzy that accompanies such events is undimmed by the recession.  Some relief has already come - the children were delivered at a Kaiser Permanente facility, so the happy couple received a quantity discount (just kidding, KP lawyers!)  According to the story, the woman 'likely' used fertility drugs (yah think?).

Notes from a Walk - Bad Boyz of Biking

Walking in LA again. Vulnerable and exposed to the mundane and the unique, the seldom-seen, the sometimes uplifting, and the sometimes not so ...

Bad Boyz of Biking 

Moving down York Ave., I hear a scream from 4-cylinders and turn in time to see a pair of baggy-pants boys hoiking wheelies on Suzukis.   First one, then the other, then both.  Not too bad - the form is good, but this is no place to show off.   As a two-wheel fanatic myself, I'm embarrassed at the display.  

I look for shaking heads or angry gestures from the occupants of nearby cars.  None, but that's just luck.  I am deeply worried that one day some bureaucrat will want to ride up the career ladder by banning 'dangerous' bikes.  And the world will darken.

and the loud boyz too ...

The wheelie antics might have slipped by unnoticed, but indifference and obliviousness are no match for what came immediately after the two wannabe stuntahs.  Hot on their rear wheels roared a Harley, its brain-bucketed and be-chapped rider bolt upright with legs splayed, rigid against the breeze.  I describe the gear now, but at the moment the impact was aural and not visual.

I swear I saw a silencer on that hog, but the sharp pain in my left ear begged to differ.  I'm not talking psychic pain here, rather the kind that accompanies the death of cells.  Another handful of decibels lost from ears that have already seen more than their share of abuse.  

As the rider popped and banged away in his rugged-man performance, I could only pity those who'd soon be joining the audience.

and for the finale ...

Later, on Hollywood Boulevard, a trio of sport bike riders, redlining engines at full stop, looking to catch attention from someone, anyone, had me wondering. 

What do I seek when I ride?

Why Can't We ... ?

Now that we have left (let's hope) the era of 'What's in it for me?' politics and entered the era of 'Yes, We Can', it might be a good time to stop and ask,

Why can't we ...

Provide a competitive and affordable education for all of our children?  - Far too many of our kids emerge from the public school system unprepared to compete in the marketplace.  Worse yet, many struggle even to hold par in a world where the inability to read or write serviceably and do simple math condemns them to poverty.  We've spent enormous sums of public money and instituted enough standardized testing to alarm even the most jaded and cynical child psychologist, yet the problem continues.  And secondary education is becoming ever more expensive and out of reach for too many who manage to emerge otherwise qualified from our sick school systems.

Prevent gang activity and violence within our prisons? - Our correctional institutions often seem more like clubhouses for gangs, or training facilities for higher degrees of crime.  And they are so publicly and pervasively violent that homosexual rape and other assaults are assumed to be a natural consequence of incarceration.  This is unconscionable is a closed system where we presumably have full control of events.  If we don't, we need to be asking why we don't, and using the answers to solve the problem.

Enact a tax system that is simple and straightforward? - It's unforgivable that we still have a tax system that is so complicated that many people are forced to hire experts to figure out what they owe.  Sure, the complexity has spawned an entire tax service industry, but that's a silver lining not worth the cloud.

Provide fair and affordable health care for everyone? - There have been incremental improvements, but too few and too slow in coming from a reluctant healthcare industry.  The problem of ruinous cost and inconsistent access continues as a divisive burden on our society and economy.

These are only a handful of many such questions - about problems that have been around and unsolved for decades, and for which we seem capable only of reapplying failed solutions.  Questions we should be asking ourselves, here and now, in the era of 'Yes, we can.'

Brief Honeymoon

How long should a presidential honeymoon last? 

One year?  A hundred days?  At least a week?

It's beginning to look like President Obama's grace period has lasted just a day. 

Already, the press has begun to ask questions, ones that, surprisingly, ponder the new President's preparedness for the job.  As an example, read  'What we don't know about Obama', from Politico.com (and posted on Yahoo News). 

He's so new he needs a map to find the oval office, and we can't give him a break?

In truth, Obama has been under the microscope increasingly since the election.  It's a measure of how much America - the World, really - looks to him for answers.   In the vacuum that was the Bush administration in the second half of 2008 (some would argue longer), where else would we have looked? 

Inauguration Day, busy as it was, may have been the only 'honeymoon' Barack Obama will get.