Babble-On 35: Balderdash and Deflation

When in Toronto, read the Globe and Mail. As far as I can tell, it's NOT owned by Rupert Murdoch ...

Deflating all Balloons! - According to the G&M, some financial experts believe we are all doomed. Because we are saving too much and not spending. And because the world governments, most particularly the US, Japan, and China, are slowing or stopping their stimulus incentives, which were the only things apparently prying open our wallets. I say 'Balderdash!' A little deflation means no inflation, right? And the fear of inflation is the main reason governments don't want to 'over-stimulate' the economy. With deflation nicely canceling inflation, governments can print all the money required to bring us back to prosperity. I'll take $5 million in twenties, please.

Justice Deflated - Toronto has had its long, dark, night of the soul, with the recent G20 protests and subsequent police action. Anywhere else, it might be time to internalize the lesson and move on, but not here. The printed press (and even more the televised news) will not let go, and seem intent on wallowing in every worrying detail. I say 'Balderdash!' Is there nothing else to do in Canada? It's summer! Go outside and play. But don't protest anything when you're out there (except, see below) or we'll never hear the end of it ...

Deflating Expectations - As if it was not enough to scare us into worries of an economic version of the 'Incredible Shrinking Man' (or Woman, if you are a Lily Tomlin fan), the G&M this morning also contained a cautionary tale to lower expectations for those seeking jobs in this collapsing universe. It seems hirers are in such a catbird seat they can afford to ignore applicants, or string them out as long as they care to after interviews, before finally telling them 'thanks but no thanks'. Or they can simply send their coldly brutal message of rejection through complete and utter silence. The article in the G&M decries this practice, but just the mention of it deflates the egos and expectations of many out there, who are expectantly waiting by their phone, computer, or blackberry for that call. The G&M blurb goes on to lay out a plan of action, involving well-timed follow-up emails, with a limit of three attempts. I say 'Balderdash!' If a company is so rude as to string you along for weeks after an interview with no contact, set up a robo-mail to bombard them with queries. This may be a particularly effective addition to your resume if the company in question is tech-related. If that doesn't work, protest. Perhaps you can recruit a few of the G20 folks - it's a while before the next summit, isn't it?

Finally, remember the only good deflation is the deflation of ignorance. Read The Globe and Mail, the Star, The London Observer, The Guardian, The New York Times - even the LA Times. But Read!

Poetry Break: D'oh! Canada

D'Oh! Canada

Your G20 news was grim,

With protesters making a mess,

Acting on violent whim

Wearing Black not Green,

And disrupting, disrupting

Just before QE II - Your Queen too, it seems

Was Due in Toronto,

Prince Philip in tow

D'Oh! Canada,

Better wipe off the graffiti, and let the last of the disruptors go,

Smile to the Queen, and bow very low...

But - don't feel too down,

Your worst was not so bad a sin

In LA we damaged far more,

Just celebrating the Laker's win.

(I suppose if the Leafs ever win the Cup again,

The Queen (or heir) should stay in the UK

Or swing south of the border, or north of Hudson's Bay ...)

Dancing With Oil-Soaked Pelicans

I won't say that Kevin Costner's career has sunk beneath the waves, but it certainly has settled lower in the water than in his high sailing pre-Waterworld days.

Not that Waterworld was all bad. I actually liked it after a couple of viewings on VHS enabled me to catch more of the nuances, like those gills. And who could ever really hate a movie with the late Dennis Hopper in it?

Plus, something about playing around with a rusted-out Exxon Valdez as a prop must have triggered some environmental thinking on Mr. Costner's part. About the time he was shooting the film (it was released in 1995, but took years to make), his brother came up with a clever way to clear oil from seawater. Kevin became an investor and supporter in his brother's technology.

From the story posted on Yahoo News, it appears that Mr. Costner made valiant efforts to sell the cleaner to oil companies and governments around the world, but with no takers. Aside from making him a natural for a remake of 'Glengarry Glen Ross', the experience must have tainted his faith in the ultimate victory of what's right.

But the idealism evidenced in his stand-out 'Dancing With Wolves' seems to have kept him going, and now fate, in the form of an undersea oil volcano spawned by corporate carelessness, has given him - and his brother's invention - the spotlight.

Sadly, Mr. Costner's device only cleans the water, and isn't designed to help stop the leak. But we should take every bit of good news and every little victory we can get right now. We should be happy that his career slack has given him the time to bring us this help.

Now if only his Elliot Ness can return, with Sean Connery as his sidekick, to clean up the bad guys ...

Cart vs Horse

If you are living anywhere along the coast in our Gulf States, you might be wondering whether oil-soaked birds will soon be dropping dead on your lawn.

- OR -

If you are a Gulf-Coaster and fish for a living (or just live for fishing), you might well be asking when you can get back at it.

In other words, in either case your main concern would be when are they going to stop the leak?

- BUT -

If you are a member of your country's government, or the 4th Estate, your attention will have moved on past the mundane concept of fixing the problem. After all, when 'Top Hat' didn't fit, and 'Top Kill' fizzled, and British Petroleum moved on to that leaky semi-cap, semi-suck procedure which didn't have a catchy name, what was the point of caring about a fix?

No, your attention has moved on to an easier topic to grasp: make the bastards pay ...

- NOW -

I know it is important to ensure BP takes care of anyone and everyone with a legitimate claim to damages, including the oil-soaked Pelican lobby (if there isn't one, I have dibbs), but let's not take things too far out of sequence.

When President Obama begins making his trips to the Gulf all about 'kicking ass' to get BP to cough up reparations, he is perhaps missing the bigger picture. The freakin' oil is still gushing!

Imagine your house is on fire. Would the first call you make be to the insurance company? Or the Fire Department?

Mr. President, please put the horse back in front of the cart. Stop the leak, then soak the bastards!

Fading Hope

American Presidents have to be thick-skinned. They can't let what they hear in the media get to them, or they'd lock themselves in the Lincoln bedroom or hide in a secure undisclosed location, refusing to come out until their term was over. They have to be made of sterner stuff.

But they can't ignore the press. Or entertainment masquerading as the press, for that matter.

If you were President Obama, the last thing you'd want to hear is criticism coming at you from Jon Stewart and his Daily Show team. Those folks are smart, and funny, and are watched by most of the throngs of independents and democrats that are your base of support. They helped you get elected, but they can just as easily kick your ass.

But criticism is just what the Daily Show is beginning to serve up. And the President better be paying attention. When Stewart recently lampooned Mr. Obama's statement that he was looking for the right 'asses to kick' about the Gulf Oil Spill, he was more than half-serious.

And that same show's ridicule of the President's apparent categorization of every problem he faces as 'complicated' or 'complex', wasn't just good-natured ribbing. It came off sounding almost like bitter disappointment.

Which does not bode well for our President.

I know it's just TV, but the administration would be wrong to ignore it. Obama and his advisors can safely disregard Glenn Beck and most other conservative pundits, but it would be fatal to ignore his own court jester. Rather he should use the Daily Show as a mirror, and take a good, hard, look. People are beginning to laugh at you Mr. President, not with you. And that never ends well for politicians.

Just Plain Nuts

Recently, on a cross-country flight, the attendant came on the PA to announce to the passengers that no peanuts would be served. Given that peanuts are about the best of what you get these days, that was a real blow. No amount of pretzels could fill the void.

The reason? A passenger on the flight had peanut allergies.

There was hardly time to ponder what life must be like, being so sensitive you'd be hurt by trace bits or smells loosed into the cabin air from other people's peanut consumption, when the substitute pretzels arrived.

A quick review of the contents revealed a hidden surprise, a label warning:

"made on equipment used to handle nuts and nut by-products "

I wonder if that nuttiness, once-removed, had any effect on the poor allergic, unidentified passenger?

Actually, until today, I was sure that the alleged passenger was just an excuse for running out of nuts. But then comes an article from the Daily News, featured on Yahoo.

Apparently, the Feds are considering banning peanuts on commercial airplanes. They attempted this once before but were shut down by the courts. Maybe they will get their way this time. And maybe the airline I was on was willing to inconvenience 100 passengers to keep just one passenger from itching and sneezing, in an attempt to stave off such draconian legislation.

Who knows what will happen at this weird nexus where genuine medical disorder meets perceived entitlement, bureaucratic zeal, and litigation?

Not me, but one thing I do know: the processed food manufacturers in this country better stop making every snack food 'on equipment used to process nuts' or we tired travelers won't have anything to sop up the alcohol on those long, long flights.

Designing The iPocalypse

So, Steve Jobs says he got the idea for the iPhone, while developing the iPad.

Ok, I'll buy that, but I have to wonder about his memory when it comes to the iPad's development. Strange that he doesn't mention certain people and ideas from Apple's past, when the topic turns to tablets and Apple's latest product.

People like Alan Kay.

Luckily for us, certain reporters on the tech scene have long memories.

Not me - all I remembered was that Alan Kay was recruited from Xerox Parc, where he'd pioneered GUI interfaces, to work with Steve Jobs at Apple designing the Lisa (predecessor to the Mac). Kay stayed at Apple for quite some time after Jobs was forced out in the late 80s, but left to become a Disney 'imagineer' before Jobs rejoined Apple in 1998. I also remembered that one of Kay's dream projects was the Dynabook, a computer in the shape and form of a notebook, that would be easy to use by everyone.

Sounds a little like the iPad may be the realization of Kay's dream. Only Jobs doesn't seem to acknowledge the lineage.

Good thing one of those reporters with long memories I mentioned commented on this with more detail than I could muster. The article ends by painting Jobs in a decent light - no pirate He, it seems.

But I'm still inclined to think the worst - after all, I've never forgiven him nixxing the licensing of the MacOS and killing Power Computing. Plus, my policy is to always kick someone when he's UP. (I was a steadfast Jobs supporter during his NeXt years-in-exile).

So, Steve - you've done an awful lot. You have much of which to be justifiably proud. Sully's hair, for instance. Would it kill you to send a few kudos someone else's way? Alan Kay should at least be acknoweledged as the spiritual father of the iPad, if nothing else.

Oh, and license the MacOS now, will 'ya?